Disneyesque

OWS and Tea Party

2012-01-06T23:38:00.000-05:00

Seems to me the Occupiers and the Tea Partiers should get together: they all want the same thing.

Corruption out of government. Honest banks. Less greed in corporate management.

And the Occupy movement, face it, is not accomplishing anything. It's a free ride for some people, thanks to donations of food, money, water.

But isn't a free ride one of the things they are protesting?

RAISING CAIN

2011-10-17T11:17:00.002-04:00

The Great Food Truck Race, America's Favorite Giveaway

2011-08-25T12:48:00.000-04:00

The Great Food Truck Race, America's Favorite Giveaway

Please vote for Lloyd Taco Truck... Buffalo's first and best!

Social Security Disability: My Side

2011-08-24T08:34:00.000-04:00

I happen to be on Social Secuity Disability. I am 65 now, but I have been on SSD since I was 50. I have paid into the Social Security system since I was 15... I have never been able to hold a full time job for more than a few months. My work experience list is as long as my arm. I always had a job. I never had a problem getting a job. My problem was keeping a job.

After my second divorce and three children, I went to college. I found I could not go to school five days a week. So for almost 13 years I attended classes on either Monday, Wednesday, Friday or Tuesday , Thursday. I got my Associate's in 1979, my (double) Bachelor's in 1981, my Master's in 1984... abandoned my PhD at the end of 1987.

While working on my MA 1982 to 1984, I attended classes alternate days, and on the remaining weekdays, I taught classes. I found I could do something five days a week -- as long as it was not the same thing. While teaching, I paid into SS.

From fall 1988 to spring 1990, I taught college writing courses at two different schools: One a MWF or TR position, the other Wednesday night. Friday and Saturday nights I worked the box office at a comedy club.

Fall 1990, I started law school. I graduated 1993. Within 2 months I had a severe breakdown. Fall 1993 I was diagnosed Bipolar. At first, I could not accept that. I read everything I could about it, and realized I had probably had this disorder for many many years, possibly since childhood. Small wonder my father had, more than once, threatened to have me committed. Small wonder I had relationship problems. Small wonder I had barely graduated high school.

But I loved college. I even loved law school, though the pressure and stress of it turned out to be my undoing.

Why do I tell all this? Not to excuse myself for being how God made me, but for you to understand that you cannot know another person's pain nor problems without walking in their shoes.

Perhaps too many people in this country have mental disorders. I'm not saying that is not true. But the REAL problem with Social Security and with Social Security Disability is the number of people being PAID UNDER THE TABLE. The number of illegals being PAID UNDER THE TABLE. The number of legal citizens being paid UNDER THE TABLE.

All these people are not paying into SS. The employers are not paying into State disability. So when an off-the-books employee is hurt on the job or their mental disorder surfaces, they have no recourse but Social Security Disability.

Take to task all the employers who are cutting corners. Sure, many would not survive without corner-cutting, but they would just have to manage. Legally. Or do something else.

Now... consider the 9% unemployed, many of whom would be employed if not for the millions of people being paid UNDER THE TABLE.

Please do not point fingers at ALL people on Social Security Disability. Count your blessings that you are not among them, that your children are not among them. And DO SOMETHING about the number of illegals and legals who are PAID UNDER THE TABLE.

My children, by the way, all have good jobs, always have had. At least I put them into the system.

God bless us all.

GEOGRAPHY GAME GIVES FREE WATER

2011-05-22T11:17:00.002-04:00

U.S. Capitol Tour with David Barton

2010-09-22T13:47:00.001-04:00

Christians -- fight for our rights!

Take a Hike

2010-09-06T09:36:00.000-04:00

I love the one about the doctor telling the grandmother to start walking 3 miles a day to improve her health... She started doing that 2 years ago and now her family has no idea where she is.

Oh, what would I give to be able to walk as well as I did even 10 years ago? Truthfully? My left arm. It doesn't do much anyway... except help me smoke cigarettes and drink tea at the computer. And it's got what is lovingly called a bingo wing.   The skin on it looks like a satellite image of Texas. It bends and is comfortable to lean on in most any armchair. And when I drive, it leans on the window frame very nicely. Of course, that has given the elbow a rather dark and crusty look.   I have always meant to put sunblock on it... but we are forgetful.

I could quit smoking, and would in a North Dakota minute if I could trade that arm for the ability to walk as well as I did 10 years ago.

My grandmother, my mom's mother, broke her hip when she was 54. I remember seeing her fall. I saw the little black dog running toward her and she could see only me, tiny 3- or 4-year-old me, skipping down the street to meet her as she came from the bus stop. I saw the dog. I stopped skipping. I wanted her to stop walking. She didn't, and tripped over the little black dog. The dog yipped, my grammy cried out in pain. I tried to help her up, but she said, "Run get your mother, Honey."

My next memory of her is seeing her in the hospital bed with a cast on her hip and leg. She had broken her hip. When I totally relax I can see two men putting her in an ambulance, but it is not as clear a picture as that little dog running, my grandmother walking, looking at me with love and joy on her face, in her eyes.   If only she would glance to the right and see the dog.   Surely, she wondered why I stopped still, frozen in mid-skip. But accidents happen in the blink of an eye.   I learned that just then.   Grammy probably already knew it as a fact of life, but (as I know now) adults tend to forget everything they know when they are too focused on a single moment.

And so, for Gram Doxtater, who had loved to walk, walking became a chore and she walked less and less.

My father's mother, Gram Behr, had a limp for as long as I can remember, though it became more pronounced as she got older.   I asked her once why she limped. Gram Behr didn't talk much. She simply answered "arthritis."   Gram Behr was more distant with us, didn't see us as often as my mother's mom.   Even when she lived with her daughter, Aunt Thelma, and brother Gregory and I would spend a couple of weeks in the summer, Gram Behr was not a presence. She was a git'er done German of few words.    She would feed us, as well as our two cousins, Tom and Nancy, and clean up and go to her room.

At one time, to be more independent probably, she took a job as a live-in housekeeper for a widower with two children, Wanda and Kippy, who lived not far from Aunt Thelma. I stayed with her there a couple of times, sharing her bed. Once she told me to keep my mouth closed when I sleep so I wouldn't snore.   I'm sure I tried.

Lest I go on about my grandmothers further, I remind myself I am writing about walking. A broken hip, arthritis, bad feet.... that's my family history on the subject. The bad feet belonged to my mother.   She had an overly pronounced instep, which she blamed on high heels. As a middle-aged woman, she had ample time and opportunity to have foot surgery. But with 8 children and her determination to do as much as she could for friends and family, she never took the time to take care of her feet.   Even in her late sixties she was having trouble and oh, so much pain, walking.   So she stopped except for when she had no choice. Then when she became diabetic, her feet became worse. Much worse.

My dad never had problems with his feet or legs. He did, however, have disk repair surgery. . . and he wore for years after that a therapeutic cummerbund, a girdle, to support his back.

Bad backs, arthritis ... I should have seen it coming. Funny how I could be more on the watch against accidents that happen in the blink of an eye, than against the genetic factors that would someday keep me from walking as I would love.

Spinal stenosis, osteoarthritis, 4 herniated disks.   Because of the stenosis and the arthritis and the spondylolisthesis, surgeons don't want to repair the disks unless they put a rod in my back. At least that's the story so far. And I don't want a rod because I've known people who are worse off with it than before. So I put up with the pain and my walking is very limited. You may have seen me in a grocery store, hunched over the cart. Or in one of those electric shopping carts. Or with my Rollator walker, sitting every few feet to ease the pain.

When I was in my 20s and 30s I swore to myself that I would do whatever it took so as not to end up like my mother and grandmothers, unable to walk for the sheer pleasure of it. I walked. I went 20 years without a car because it made me walk more.

But now, at 64, overweight and arthritic, I am often near tears for not being able to walk. I believe I can do more than I have been doing, and will try harder, push a little bit further. I will even check with my new doctor about getting disk repairs.   And I must must must lose weight. Those two things are my hope. At 64 I still have hope. Seems reasonable to me that I must lose weight before I have surgery on the disks.   How else can I ask for help if I don't help myself?

My left arm, yes, I would give in order to be able to walk for the sake of walking. People take walking so for granted.   I see them. Totally oblivious of the blessing they have.   The opportunity they have for better health as they age.   I tell my children,"Save yourselves," but I really believe it is not too late for me to take a hike. Someday.

REAL Americans CANNOT support Obama

2010-08-14T15:03:00.003-04:00

It has come to this: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100814/ap_on_go_pr_wh/us_ground_zero_mosque_obama

Am I the only one who DOES NOT want the U.S. to be under Sharia law? We are on the way there, folks. The same "man" who cancelled the National Day of Prayer entertained over 100 Muslim officials and dignitaries at the White House last night to begin the week of Ramadan. Can you say SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE?

How can this person represent so many millions of Christians and how can so many millions of Christians let him get away with his insipid hypocritical two-faced impertinences?

And what about the Muslims who want this Islam Center at Ground Zero? Do they really not feel the inappropriateness of this? Or do they simply not care... and are gloating at the prospect of claiming Ground Zero for their shrine?

from the article:

"Added Rep. Peter King, R-N.Y.: "President Obama is wrong. It is insensitive and uncaring for the Muslim community to build a mosque in the shadow of ground zero."

Entering the highly charged election-year debate, Obama surely knew that his words would not only make headlines in the U.S. but be heard by Muslims worldwide. The president has made it a point to reach out to the global Muslim community, and the over 100 guests at Friday's dinner in the State Dining Room included ambassadors and officials from numerous nations where Islam is observed, including Saudi Arabia and Indonesia.

While his pronouncement concerning the mosque might find favor in the Muslim world, Obama's stance runs counter to the opinions of the majority of Americans, according to polls.

Opponents, including some Sept. 11 victims' relatives, see the prospect of a mosque so near the destroyed trade center as an insult to the memory of those killed by Islamic terrorists in the 2001 attacks."

This is NOT about religion, People. It's about the U.S.A. being given away to our enemies. (defining an enemy as someone who hates you and wishes you harm)

Anti-Islam speech-- Test the limits of free speech

2010-07-27T09:14:00.000-04:00

http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/w/geert-wilders.htm

MAKE MINE FREEDOM 1948 cartoon

2009-10-27T10:08:00.000-04:00

More important than ever now!

The Silent Majority: 545 PEOPLE

2009-09-20T23:21:00.000-04:00

The Silent Majority: 545 PEOPLE

In Memory of September 11, 2001

2009-09-10T23:16:00.001-04:00

American Thinker Blog: Dust off that Obama 'pledge' for your kids

2009-09-04T10:30:00.001-04:00

American Thinker Blog: Dust off that Obama 'pledge' for your kids

Shared via AddThis

After Cat Attack and National Health

2009-09-01T20:56:00.004-04:00

8 pm now, home a few minutes ago. To recap: Sunday evening I got into a situation between my cat, Karma, and a wee stranger kit I was calling Bunny. Never get between two cats. Even when the wise older cat looks like he is just thinking about what he had for breakfast or when is supper, he is in attack mode. And if you attempt to touch his throat to ascertain whether that strange baritone is coming from him or the teeny kitten, he will attack. You. Me.

Tuesday (today) I decided to go to ER because pus was oozing from a couple of sites. Daughter Lynette went with me.

So. Turned out was 2 abscesses. Doctor who treated me is hand injury specialist. He didn't let the resident incise and drain the wounds because of proximity to tendons and artery.

So anesthetic at sites, drain, dress... antibiotic IV, and a scrip for home. I am to go to my doc in morning, but if can't get in, back to ER for check. Any creeping redness get to ER asap. [Duh.]

But here's the thing: Talked to doctor, who has published a book on hand injuries, and nurse about HR 3200. PEOPLE, we must talk about this-- voice opinions. Most damage is from people not caring, or thinking que sera, or that there's no difference they can make. In this information age, each one of us can make a difference.

Tried to include the resident intern too, but her English was such that the most she would say is that she has no comment.

Doctor and nurse both had a lot to say. Doc's most voiced concern is that fewer people will go into medicine. He said "socialized medicine does not work in Canada and it won't work here." He said Buffalo has a doctor shortage and Boston has too many docs. These things would be evened out, but as fewer people become doctors, waiting lists will grow and quality will be sacrificed to the bottom line. He also said he thought the biggest problems with national health is propensity for abuse. In the Buffalo News today was an article about a man (Lynette knew him from ECMC) who has already taken 600 free ambulance rides. Medicaid pays for it and hospital cannot refuse him, even though they know he is out just for something to do, sometimes a free lunch if it's around meal time. [Good thing i didn't find out years ago that medicaid paid for emergency meals at the hospital. lol]

He said if the bill passes they can expect fraud and abuse to be about 2,000 times what it is now. Or more. And the abuse is already phenomenal.

The nurse said the really bad part in hospitals is nurses will be paid by trickle down.... whatever is left after all other operating costs will be paid to nurses. She said this also means that fewer people will go into nursing. She added that she thinks the costs for medical educations, including nursing, will drop -- as well as standards for admission. [Well, I say this is right in keeping with the dumbing down of America: now the process is hitting the professionals]

Both agreed that pharmaceutical companies must be prevented from having billion dollar advertising budgets. And that, they concurred, is probably the only silver lining of this bill.

Doc also said, however, that medicine already is socialized in this country, with the exception of private hospitals and treatment centers. "While we have to-- and want to-- treat everyone who comes through the door, the potential for abuse [under HR 3200] is staggering and will bankrupt the country."

I said the country is already bankrupt. Of course he agreed, sadly. And on China being the next super power he said, "Right. The plan must be to put an end to world aid for hunger and drought, flood, disasters, because certainly the Chinese aren't about to do that. They don't even take care of their own."

I watched as he went about his business, which there wasn't much of early on a Tuesday evening. I'd told him I marvel at his calmness talking about this because "sometimes I get just livid." Now as I watched him with his paperwork, with consults, with patients, I realized that all he can do, all any of us can do is keep on keeping on.

But until this bill passes, everyone of us who has the time (most doctors do not) can and must speak up.

Ask your doctor. Talk to your relatives.

Oh, another thing I'd asked was about the public-option.... which I prefer to call the national option. Keep the feds out of the private sector. Make national health an OPTION for those who want and need it. Leaving the private sector alone will reduce the projected abuse from the medicaid/medicare systems.

And on that note, good night. I pray.

3rd choice for HR3200

2009-09-01T00:44:00.001-04:00

Let's focus on the benefits of OPTIONAL national health insurance... so that those 45 million without health insurance are covered. Let those who want national health have it. But let the private sector keep its coverage and carriers and choices.

This should satisfy all who want universal coverage as well as those who do not want socialized medicine for America. There are ALWAYS more than two choices.

WIN / WIN

Mary, Our Mother

2009-08-30T13:33:00.000-04:00

Blessed Virgin Mary with children

it is NOT too late

2009-08-26T15:34:00.001-04:00

Born Again Americans

2009-08-20T10:57:00.002-04:00

Born Again American from Born Again American on Vimeo.

Smart Dog

2009-08-11T12:49:00.000-04:00

Basic problem with HR 3200

2009-08-07T13:33:00.001-04:00

The bill, as it stands, is ageist and elitist.

Universal health care should be equal coverage for ALL, regardless of age, sex, religion, gender identity, political opinions, ethnicity, community standing, finances. . . .

http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h3200/text

Congress: fix this bill

Obamacare?

2009-08-06T12:00:00.010-04:00

"The health care system in Canada is largely government-funded, with most services provided by private enterprises. Waiting times for major non-emergency surgery have been longer in Canada, and Canada has been slightly slower to adopt expensive technology and medicines. Consequently, Canada has had higher mortality rates for some conditions, such as heart attacks. Canadian health administrators say that these problems are improving."

I read the above paragraph on a site comparing U.S. and Canada health care.

The Obama health care bill prohibits private enterprise from treating patients, including diagnostic testing. Further, whether any testing can be done will be decided by a govt review board. Canada is trying to improve their health care. Obama is trying to worsen ours, overall.

I've made a compromise with myself: I will no longer spend my passion on fighting "city hall." Instead, I will advocate that Americans do not try to outlive their biological clocks. Why should we? What right do we have to "rage against the dying of the light"? (Thomas Dylan)

Facts of life prevail. And maybe if everyone died when they were supposed to, there would be fewer abortions. And unemployment wouldn't be a problem. Housing and food would be cheaper as supply caught up with demand. So many advantages to accepting the inevitable with grace.

Of course, it's different if you have a child whose life you want to prolong-- just in case a miracle cure is found before it's too late. Anyone would sympathize with that. I think.

But then there's the more basic issue of keeping our country a land of the free and home of the brave. OOPS. I guess our soldiers won't get the best treatment on the field. Triage will be government regulated. Those who need most immediate care won't get it, and those who are most likely to be able to fight again will get top attention.

Oh, but I must remember where my energies are to be directed. Why should anyone suffer for perhaps years or the rest of her life and why should families bear the burden of witnessing that suffering? Treatment or no, quality of life is certainly top priority now.

And that only makes sense. Right?

Oh, but feel free to read the bill yourself. It's probably too late to make any changes.

http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h3200/text

But, I say again, I have no objection to socialized medicine... just don't want to live in a Socialist country.

Peace.

Abortion in America

2009-08-05T15:12:00.000-04:00

Reprint from Oct 21, 2008
ProLife? ProAbortion? AntiAbortion? ProChoice?

Labels. They are divisive. They are polarizing. They are propaganda. And in this country, don't we just love labels?

Consider this: Everyone is in favor of life-- well, maybe except some sociopaths and terrorists. No one is in favor of abortion, per se. Everyone desires that abortion NOT be used as birth control. Everyone wants to be able to choose, as much as they are able, what happens to their lives, to their bodies, to their futures.

The bigger problem for all Americans is the general devaluation of human life, at all stages of development. I recall the Lockerbee plane crash, caused by Islamic terrorists, and how the only rationale we could come up with for the senseless taking of human life without regard for consequence was that "they" do not value human life as "we" do.

Labels. Them and us. Them against us. Us vs them. World class playoffs. In the meantime, while they have not become much like us, we have become more like them. How can we expect any other culture to respect America when Americans do not respect themselves, when Americans do not respect all life?

Is the ACLU obsolete?

2009-07-25T15:05:00.003-04:00

NEW RESPECT FOR ACLU. In the '60s and '70s i was all for the ACLU. Lately, I've resented what seems like "overprotection."

Last Thursday my friend "Rick" in Louisiana was arrested on the charge of felony theft. He had been told by a friend that a safe had been abandoned and was sitting by trash, so Rick could get it and sell it for scrap. It was too heavy for him and some friends to get into his roommate's pickup, so he called Vidalia City Hall and asked for city help.

Some men came from City Hall and with whatever tools they had loaded the safe onto the bed of the truck. On his way to the scrapyard, Rick was arrested for stealing a safe from that place (an abandoned building)... NOT the safe he had in the truck, but another they said was there.

There are plenty of witnesses to the safe he got who swear there was only the one safe there.

The police impounded the roommate's truck along with the safe the city helped him load. The safe NOT in question. The police put Rick in jail July 23rd pending arraignment on the 27th. "The judge is out of town until then." "No bail until arraignment."

I advised Rick's roommate to contact ACLU of Louisiana Phone: 504-522-0617

We really DO still need the ACLU. Police practice abuses are bad everywhere, but so much worse in the South, for minorities, and for the poor.

BTW, Rick is 60 and poor and an old hippie. And now he's the victim of police abuse.

Dumb Ox Daily News: Justice Ginsburg Lets Abortion Eugenics Cat Out of Bag

2009-07-12T18:28:00.000-04:00

Dumb Ox Daily News: Justice Ginsburg Lets Abortion Eugenics Cat Out of Bag

moral decline in America

2009-07-05T17:47:00.007-04:00

I've been blaming media for many years for the decline of ethical and moral standards in this country. The media likes to blame the parents and the schools.

Any of us can turn on prime time TV and even Saturday morning cartoons to find questionable and objectionable material that our children are exposed to daily.

Parents are often too busy, too tired, too worried about their bills to investigate before saying okay to a TV movie or a program. If it's before 8 p.m., how bad can it be? If it's rated PG or PG-13, how bad can it be? We must not expect nor even want schools to parent our children.

I just checked for cast in The Proposal. It's rated PG-13. I like PG-13 and PG movies. I loved March of the Penguins.

But I had to go to another page to find cast and rating.

Sandra Bullock. I like her a lot, see most all her movies. Okay.

But then the rating. I'll probably still see this because I like Bullock and because I'm 62. But how many parents will send their kids to the movies, to this movie, just because it's PG-13?

Here's the rating and other info:

Genres: Comedy and Kids/Family
Running Time: 1 hr. 48 min.
Release Date: June 19th, 2009 (wide)
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for sexual content, nudity and language.
Distributors: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
U.S. Box Office: $69,162,471

Sexual content, nudity, and language. And it's already earned near $70 million.

I'm certainly not slamming this movie. I'd never dump on a movie I hadn't seen. Or a book I hadn't read. Or a song I didn't personally hear.

I'm just using The Proposal as an example because it jumped up at me and scratched my brain.

How can we even make age part of a rating system? People, even the youngest of us, have differing experiences.

I have a proposal of my own to make: Change the rating system to show content of movies, videos, games, TV shows.

Here's how that would work:

F family
N nudity
V vulgarity (language, innuendo)
S overt sexuality
D illegal drug use (acceptable in the story)
E excessive violence

The motion picture and television industries could even keep their R, M, PG-13, PG ratings.

In the case of The Proposal, The rating would look like this:
PG-13 FNVS

And parents should be able to see that all in one place, the same place they see title and show times.

I am against censorship, per se, but I'm also against teen pregnancies, the widespread use of illegal drugs, random acts of violence, disrespect for elders (unless they've earned disrespect), home invasions, murder, drunken drivers, substance abuse (including food and alcohol), pedophilia, and a number of other societal ills.

One more thing, while I'm at it. Let's apply the same rating system to commercials and public advertising.

I do not advocate a return to the Victorian Era. Society and all of its facets must always move forward. But we should be moving toward the light, not away from it.

But moving forward must not mean leaving behind your parents' and grandparents' ethics and moral standards. If that's what happens, we are all lost.

Yes, Indeed....

2009-05-28T12:36:00.003-04:00

I did take Pauline for a 2-hour drive the other day. (more details at http://www.travelloggers.blogspot.com) She didn't complain much, so long as I would look at her, making eye contact, saying just about anything while responding to her expression.

If she looked worried, I would look concerned and say something sympathetic. If she looked as though she were saying something funny, I would laugh and nod my head. We get along. But, again, I couldn't do this on a daily basis.

Two days ago, Alex brought Pauline over for me to keep her company while he went for a hair cut. As we sat on the couch, a most unusual thing happened.

As a rule, for a long time now, Pauline does not see animals. There is no reaction at all to their presence or actions. If she is sitting down, the Bijon Louis jumps on her lap, walks around on her to find where he wants to settle, then lies down. He is like a figment of her imagination. Then, that afternoon, my cat Karma walked into view at the end of the coffee table. Pauline has been in close proximity to Karma many times in the past two weeks. Karma is also invisible.

From left field, Pauline points at Karma and says, "Oh, look, a kitty."

The stunning moment lasted maybe 3 seconds. Then Karma disappeared again. Even as he jumped up on the couch between us, he had already ceased to exist for her.

A eureka event like that, however ephemeral, helps me understand how difficult it must be for Alex to let her go. There is always the hope that someday, some way, some how, out of the blue, Pauline will look at him and say, "Hi, Alex."

I am SOOO delinquent...

2009-05-15T13:15:00.003-04:00

Back when, my intention was to write here often, like maybe daily. At least weekly. It's not that intriguing or thought-provoking subjects haven't come up; it's more like where does time go?
Right now I'm in SC, so not at my puter, no access to my photos. I drove down here from Buffalo on the 11th... 770 miles. Made it in 15 hours (which includes an hour of sleep along the way). Not bad for me :)
Since Monday, days have been busy, and tonight we are going to a wedding in Colfax, NC. My sister Cathy's son Jason.
I have been keeping up at facebook and askville and yahoo and pogo, and even instant cash sweepstakes. Okay, that's where some of my time goes.
Yesterday, though, i did something rather out of the ordinary: I stayed with an Alzheimer's patient so her husband could go to the doctor's.
Pauline is my daughter Lizanne's mother-in-law. A sweeter, more agreeable woman you would be hard put to find. Even in her dissociated state, she tends to be sweet. She is so ready to return a smile.

Pauline makes constant chatter, 90% nonsense, mixed in with occasional words like "bathroom," which you want to pay attention to, and "toast" or "bubble." You want to hear the word "bathroom," even though it probably means nothing. But who wants to chance it? More often there is no warning, but ya never know. That afternoon there were no accidents.

My time with Pauline was actually quite delightful. I followed her from room to room, relieved she didn't seem to know what the stairs were for (I have a bad back). When I sat, she sat. Then she'd be up again and we'd move on. And we "chatted" all the while. I found it didn't matter what I said. . . only how I said it. The more inflection and facial expression I used, the calmer and more seemingly attentive she was. I read parts of the Reader's Digest to her, laughing at the jokes. When I laughed, she laughed with me.
I sang to her: O Holy Night, Yankee Doodle, Amazing Grace, a couple of lullabies, the Alphabet Song. She always sat still through my performances, politely.

Toward the end of the 2nd hour, I sat in a wing back chair in the living room. She sat on the recliner. (Light bulb) I got up and helped her sit back in the chair, then I put the footrest up. Then I pushed the chair into the most reclined position. I sat in my chair again. I asked if she was comfortable. She replied boddle, bobble, bobba and something about "daddy." (She calls her husband Daddy.) I said, "It is nice to relax." She said, "Relax," as she smoothed and folded and unfolded and smoothed and rolled and unrolled and smoothed a sleeve or a collar on the red polo shirt of "Daddy's," which she'd been carrying with her the past two hours.

I sat silent and with my eyes closed for perhaps 20 minutes. When I opened them and looked at Pauline, she was just watching me, waiting, I think, for me to reanimate. We began chatting again. I would ask a question and make some kind of response to whatever she said. If she spoke first, I'd pretend she asked a question or told me something I didn't know and respond accordingly. Always with facial expression for reinforcement.

I couldn't keep from wondering about writing dialogue for a play about an Alzheimer's patient. Now that it's in the back of my mind, I suppose I'm working on it. Though probably not to any greater degree than I work on anything. Alas.

It had occurred to me that she did not know how to get out of the recliner. Was I cruel to encourage her sitting there for as long as possible? I didn't think so. In a relaxed position, she seemed more relaxed, less agitated, content for many minutes at a time. But when I heard the word "bathroom," I decided rest time was over.

We walked past the bathroom a couple of times. On one occasion she stepped in far enough to look into the mirror and say what sounded like nasty things to the person she saw there. But she resisted any attempts on my part to go further into the bathroom. Since "Daddy" had told me before he left that she'd just gone, I figured he would be home soon and better practiced at handling her in this situation. She had eaten a lot of grapes, though, so I hoped he would show up before much longer.

He did. Before I left we searched for her glasses which she'd laid down somewhere on our many routes. I had noticed them missing, but couldn't be sure she'd had them on when I got there. She never squinted at me, nor did her eyes seem out of focus. So I left the finding of them for "Daddy."

I did enjoy the "chatting" --although I'm sure I couldn't accept it on a daily basis, especially 24/7. While I am visiting here, I want to offer to take her for a ride for 90 minutes or so: to give him a break and her some fresh air, and me some new topics for our chats.

Can you imagine......

2009-02-10T11:44:00.004-05:00

........emigrating to another country, legally or illegally, and not want to learn the language of that country?

Americans should be encouraged to learn other languages, both for their own foreign travel and to be able to interpret for VISITORS here.

But this Press 1 for English really is demoralizing.

United we stand, divided we fall... and United States' citizens have increasingly less to unite them.

Many in other countries contend that Americans are stupid. We ARE. We are far too accomodating to immigrants who have no desire to be U.S. citizens.

If you agree, share this post. Press 1 For English song.

My theory is that the movement toward acceptance of mongrel English is part of the New World Order... over which we have no control. Or do we?

The First Time Was the Best

2009-02-10T11:36:00.002-05:00

Re: Music, Madness, and Mayhem

We experimented a little yesterday at the YMCA. I may need a tighter earpiece.
Lynette said the volume was as high as it was last Friday, when I went into overload.
But my left knee hurt. (Was zero pain Friday) My back didn't hurt, though, and I was on a different bike: racing style instead of recumbent>

Lower volume didn't give me the push to go go go.

I'll continue to experiment, and will try 161 bpm at lower volume soon.

Music, Magic, and Mayhem

2009-02-07T13:36:00.005-05:00

What an experience I had yesterday. It began at the YMCA late afternoon.

Lynette and I have been going for a year now, and I am in need of stepping up my activity. She found a way that works for her: listening to 151 bpm (beats per minute) electronic music, designed expressly for exercise. She listens on her --ipod or MP3 player, i've no idea the difference.

So she's on the elliptical and i'm on the recumbent bike next to her. I'm straining to last more than a minute before needing a break while she is cross-countrying her way to a healthier heart.

After her program on the machine finished, she had me try the music. Took a bit before we got the earpieces facing the right direction-- toward my brain.

OMIGOSH. I took off on that bike. I think I could have gone, well, don't know how long. But was time for her to move to Nautilus, and for me to go back to sauna.

Main thing was I felt no pain, I didn't get out of breath, thigh muscles didn't scream for me to stop. Maybe I went for two minutes-- could have been more. But the thing is I could go go go go go.

151 bpm. When lynette first upped to the exercise beat (free download on the web-- i'll get the site from her), she used 141 bpm music. She said there is also 161 available.

After the Y, we went to dinner at this little Italian place called... Faso's, I think. We were to meet Ron and a coworker friend of Lynette's.

On the way there, I am just waxing ecstatic over what I saw as the implications of this 151 rhythm. It could be used for pain relief for anyone, for quitting smoking, for losing weight, ANYthing. I realized that it interfered with normal signals to the brain. Interrupted pain signals, for instance. So I'm going on and very happy with my "discovery." Though, having made other music therapy attempts, I realized the necessity of having the headset... the magic going direct to brain.

So we are at dinner. Quaint and homey little place, reminded me of some after-hours "bars" I'd been to in my youth. Great menu. Fun decor. Now we're all together and conversing about this that and the other thing. Enjoying the moment until, well, my first problem began when I was having trouble recalling a quote I wanted to bring into discussion. I knew it as well as I knew my name. Earlier in the day, I'd responded to it on www.askville.com at some length. But now every time I tried to say the whole sentence, parts were missing and searching around in my brain I couldn't find them. Something about the poor being ignored. Something about trash. Something about modern civilization.

The harder I tried to talk about it, to recall it and to say how my brother's book on Thomas Aquinas was relevant, the more I became (to me at least) incoherent. I guess to them, also. Lynette was trying to quiet me, said I was too loud. I lost it.

Started crying and couldn't regain control...went to ladies room, water on my face. Stopped long enough to return to the table and say I was leaving. Lynette could ride home with Ron.

I cried all the way home. Still trying to remember that quote. After I got in and fed my poor starving cat, I looked up the Q and A on Askville. So simple. And yet when I went to a different page, it was gone again.

I turned off the puter, couched for Monk and Psych, crying every so often, wondering if I needed to go to hospital. No, I was okay... sleep would help. Tomorrow is another day. Etc. I hadn't had dangerous thoughts in years, it seemed, and I wasn't about to think them now.

Went to bed at 11 pm, read my book for maybe an hour. No problem there, no comprehension problems. (Evanovitch's Plum Spooky) Slept the sleep of the dead.

This morning I woke hopeful. But the entire quote was not complete. Something about the Modern poor and trash. I took my pills, checked some email, ate a pear... and a chocolate croissant, which Lynette brought up to be a cheer-up surprise. It was delicious. Said gm to my Gailfriend on Pogo... then went back to bed.

I woke some 3 hours later with a clear head. "The modern poor are not pitied, but written off as trash."

What had happened? I believe that the 151 bpm piped into my brain indeed disrupted normal messages to the brain. Now I say this is NOT a good idea for someone who is Bipolar.

I bet experiments have been done in the interest of torture. And I still say this "music" is great for exercise and feeling no pain. After I told my theory to my daughter, she said she thinks the volume was too loud, that I'd hit some button or other when putting the ear phones on. Perhaps.

And I want to know. So we'll experiment. I will try this again on Monday, at lower volume. I know it needs to be loud enough to block pain messages, but not so loud it causes synapses problems. Will let you know what we discover.

Gung Hay Fat Choy

2009-01-26T12:26:00.002-05:00

Even though I now know that is not Mandarin (possibly Cantonese), I wish you a happy and healthy Chinese new year, anyway.

Went to a Chinese family new year buffet last night. Whole roasted pig, though its carcass was separated between buffet tables. Lots of fish. One pan was just fish heads. A wonderfully sweet rice with peanuts, maybe honey. Duck, shrimp, rice noodles, sticky rice, a thumb-size but flat pasta I'd not seen before, whole boiled eggs in some kind of sauce, bok choy, soups, dumplings (which were gone fast). Cheesecake. I managed to snag the bottom of a slice that'd been left on the plate, along with some bits of cheese from the serving knife.

How do you say in Chinese: People, when planning your next event, please make sure there is enough cheesecake for all.

Oh, but I have no complaints. It was a wonderful buffet and a wonderful evening. I wish all communicants a strong as an OX new lunar year.

Writing George's Story

2009-01-14T09:32:00.002-05:00

It is the strangest thing, as I transfer, with minor editing, George Pfeffer's account of his Holocaust experience. I sometimes get the feeling it is my story I'm telling. Immersed in his words as I write, I transcend myself. Is writing more powerful than reading? Or watching?

When we read a story, or view a movie (fact or fiction), we "identify" with one or more characters, or situation. No identification means we didn't like the story. That is, we didn't like the story because it had no meaning in our lives.

I read George's story over 25 years ago. But it is in the writing that this sense comes to me. It would be a hellish thing for me to have Holocaust memories, to suffer and to witness so much suffering, to stare into my father's eyes for the brief moment before he is taken to the gas chamber. To never see my eight-year-old son again. Would I persevere? George does. He lives to tell the story of love, hate, survival, and faith. I think my story would have been lost. I think, though I pray to never have to find out.

Credit Card Scam

2009-01-13T15:03:00.002-05:00

Maybe you heard about this-- 25 cents being charged to millions of credit accounts by some unknown "business," probably a scammer. Article said don't let it slide-- file a dispute with your credit card company and lodge complaints with 2 (named) federal offices.

I'm sure not going file a dispute with my credit card company, nor lodge complaints with 2 federal offices over a quarter. In fact, If someone found a way to get 25 cents from 4 million people, more power to her or him.
And if I could help anyone for 25 cents a month (about all I could afford), I'd do it in a heartbeat. All these charities want $15 or $25 or more. And where does the money go? Now there's a good idea for a show-- A Quarter to One -- real people with real problems showcased...and viewers send a quarter to the one they feel most deserving. (That millionaire show sucked, though only watched it once.)

NOT a game show...a giving show. Total reality, nothing rehearsed. So if 4 million of you want to send me a quarter, I'll produce this show, starting right here in Buffalo, NY.

My First Kiss

2009-01-04T09:19:00.003-05:00

Who doesn't remember their first real kiss? Hoping that no one reading this has had some tragic family nightmare on this subject, I exclude being kissed by relatives.

[OMG I just had a EUREKA! flash. This is note to self about something that happened when I was 15. For sure a later post.]

Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Ummm. Okay. BRB

bk. Shoot this changes everything. I expected to write this sweet, tho slightly shocking, remembrance of things past relating to the first time i was kissed-- and how! But now I have to tie the event in with other aspects of my life.

It was the word "relatives." I had never in 47 years put first kiss and relative together. In darn near 47 years of therapy, I never put the event and the word together. Until up there in the first paragraph.

I had an emotional breakdown when i was 15; I started abusing alcohol when I was 15.

There have been two personal traumas in my life-- one when i was six, the other at fifteen. I have known for many years what the first one was and it'll be the subject of a later post. But the second... when I was 15... I've been trying for 47 years to find out what had happened to trigger an emotional breakdown at that age. Now I know.

Gosh, writing is powerful stuff. Reading, you find out things about other people; writing, you find out things about yourself.

Oh, of course there have been all sorts of disappointments and frustrations and hardships, yes, and arguments before and after being 15. We were a family of ten. But an event becomes traumatic when it causes cognitive dissonance. The brain experiences two (or more) disparate realities and attempts to reconcile them. A third reality is created, often involving repression of the event that caused the dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance might result in multiple personalities, for example, or other personality disorders, such as bipolar disorder. With which I was diagnosed in 1993.

Okay. My first kiss. I was 15. I was with my mother at the wedding of a cousin. My mother behind me, I followed others through the seated receiving line. Hello. How do you do. Beautiful dress. Congratulations. So happy for you. And then the new groom.

He raised his hand as if to shake hands, I took it. He pulled himself from his chair and pulled me across the table and kissed me passionately on the mouth. Not a peck. Something I had never experienced. Causing a rush of all sorts of emotions. I'm sure I turned red as a beet. I had that tendency for little cause. And this. This was cause celeb.

Shocked and awed and stunned I pulled back, and nearly ran from the hall. Outside, my head spinning, I wandered to the nearest birch and leaned against it. Thoughts would not coalesce into anything meaningful. I know, or believe, I went back into the hall. But I don't remember. I remember touching my lips, feeling his still there. Feeling shame for something that was not my fault. Or was it?

I'm sure people around me laughed it off-- except for maybe the bride. If only I had had enough maturity, experience, sophistication, savoir faire to laugh it off, too. How different my life might have been.

After the breakdown and seeing the family doc, my parents took me to a neurologist. He sat behind his desk while I in my yellow shirtwaist faced him. He asked me something. I said, "Anything I tell you, you will tell my mother." It was more of a question, but I knew the answer. Doctor Libertson said, "Well, you are only 15."

I didn't say anything else. I don't know if I had anything to say then, but I think so. I think now that until he said he would have to tell my mother, hardcore repression hadn't set in.

Yes, my mother was a witness to the event, but she was not a witness to what I felt, to all that went on inside me. And the part of me that was a witness went to sleep.

I'm awake now. And it wasn't my fault! Happy New Year to me!

BTW, three marriages and numerous affairs later, I still have never been kissed again like that. And won't be. Sad but true. Still, we are the sum of our experiences, and from this point in my life I have to say it's all good.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009

2009-01-03T14:53:00.003-05:00

I am wishing the best for everyone, of course, though knowing the year will bring suffering and sorrow to many. Can't help being a realist, at the same time optimistic one day at a time.

What I'm going to do with this blog is stop saying what I think. Mostly. Cuz like who really cares? LOL Even I care only at the moment of writing. Instead, I'm going to relate stuff that happens, or has happened, maybe even what I hope or fear will happen.

Editorials: Maybe I will send them to The Buffalo News.

Have the best year you can, be the best person you know how. And be flexible.

God bless!

I'm not a Writer

2008-12-07T12:30:00.003-05:00

For way too many years I thought I was a writer. The cold reality is, though, a writer writes. Not like this--just yakkin' off the top of my head. A writer works at writing. Maybe she doesn't get paid much, if at all, but it's a daily or several-times-weekly grind.

And for sure, the majority of writers are hacks. So should I feel bad that I'm not a writer?

Well... I've wasted a lot of my life thinking I was. That is regrettable. and I have wasted much more time feeling guilty for not writing. So I now come clean and accept that I wasn't really a writer to begin with.

The thing that made me believe I was a writer was not the few publishing credits; it was the way I look at the world. So often through kaleidoscopic glasses. What I know now is that I am a poet.

You can be a poet and not be writing poetry. Although I have written many and published some poems, it is not that which makes me a poet. It is the way I look at the world, the way I look at people, the things I see and, yes, the things I do not see.

A poet sees beauty where there is ugliness. A poet sees ugliness where too many see beauty. A poet sees every silver lining. A poet knows that silver linings are ephemeral.

You see? I write about being a poet as opposed to being a writer instead of writing a poem. And that's what makes me a poet. The tiny blue chips and green chips and yellow chips and red chips can never be anything on their own. They must jangle and mix and reflect into crystalline and oh-so fragile patterns. And there I am oohing and ahhing over some exquisite observation when--oops--a dog barks.

The purest pleasure in being a poet is in the knowledge that there are more poets than writers in the world. I may be a member of the world's largest undocumented organization. We see comedy in tragedy; we see love in hate; we see dark clouds on a sunny day. We see sunshine in a raindrop. We survive calamity and loss. We succumb at the mention of an unkind word. We are resurrected by smiles. Daily, our dreams renew faith and hope.

I am so fortunate.

THANKSGIVING 2008

2008-12-06T18:31:00.001-05:00

NO MORE PUNISHMENT

2008-11-15T12:27:00.003-05:00

You heard it here first. In an unprecedented move by both Houses and ratified by President Obama, there will be no more jail time for those convicted of less than Class A Felonies. Our prisons will be only for hardened and unrepentant criminals.

ATONEMENT is the new law of the land.

Because of overcrowding of prisons and juvenile detention centers, those convicted of lower class felonies and misdemeanors will be required to ATONE for their misdeeds. Those who plead guilty, saving courts time and saving taxpayers money, may have Atonement Requirements reduced. . . but never revoked.

How will ATONEMENT work?

Subject X robs a gas station while the attendant is outside with a customer. X ducks behind the counter, opens the till and grabs the cash, $360. X then, unaware of video surveillance, simply walks away.

Regardless of age or sex, X will be required by the Atonement Board to, first, repay the gas station owner. If X does not have the full amount stolen, conditions and length of Atonement may be increased. If X repays the $360, X will be required to Atone for being a thief.

Possible atonements include, but are not limited to: weekly cleaning of the station's restrooms for a year; 50 hours of unpaid work for the station owner, either at the station or at the owner's residence, including yard work, household chores, and errands; 60 hours of community service. The station owner assists the AB in determining Atonement.

An Atonement Board has not yet been established, but can be expected to be filled by the end of the month. Congress is looking at penal reformers from academic and social welfare backgrounds. Creative writers and artists are also being considered.

The AB will be subject to Congressional review, and members may have tenure depending on performance.

Monitoring X and submitting reports will be the job of Atonement Monitors. Within a year, every county in the country will have its own AB and however many AMs as deemed necessary.

The costs of ABs and AMs is expected to be covered nearly in full by prison cost reductions and court cost reductions. And also by the majority of atonements which otherwise would incur losses by the victims, increases in insurance premiums, and eventually higher taxes.

This writer congratulates the new administration and applauds peaceful, humane, and practical applications of the law.

Change CONGRESS

2008-11-09T15:59:00.001-05:00

click on the article to see larger

Reflections on the 2008 Presidential Election

2008-11-05T15:17:00.002-05:00

Remembering where you were and what you were doing when Barack Obama was elected will always be akin, to those of us old enough, to remembering where you were when JFK was shot. I see these events now, not as books, but as dividers on the bookshelf of life. People look at wars and upheavals of Nature as the big events, but it is individuals, however obscure, who define eras.

We know of the Stone Age, the Iron Age, the Bronze Age; but stone, iron, and bronze did not make history. It was the people who used these materials to fight their battles and build their communities that are inherent in human history.

I first voted in 1964. I had wanted to vote for Julian Bond, but I think he didn't run or had to withdraw because of his age, 34 I think he was. I don't remember for whom I voted. I do remember that in the three elections prior to this one, I voted twice for Ross Perot and once for Ralph Nader. Too many Americans have been proud of whom they did NOT vote for.

I find it solidifying and reifying, as an American, that so many will always remember their 2008 presidential vote. I do believe that for all things there is a season; and this is a season of major changes. It doesn't even matter if the season was man-made and in the works for years. It doesn't even matter, now, if Mr. Obama is a puppet or a pawn. I can only hope that he, and we, are not sacrificed to the plans of the powerful. I can only hope that he, in his position as president, will be able to staunch the slaughter of human life, from the womb to the battlefield.

Of course he will remain pro-choice. Me, too. But he has to want to stop the killing of incredible amounts of human potential. All life is to be nurtured. If, for whatever reason, you cannot nurture life, then for God's sake do not create it.

We can hope he has a personal agenda to change abortion statistics. We can hope he has personal agendas for many things. But the problem, the curse of politics is there is no politician who does not owe someone somewhere something. A politician cannot be his or her own person, perhaps never again, without fulfilling obligations to those who made their election or appointment possible. And I do not mean the voters.

So we must pray for President Obama with all the heart and soul with which we pray for ourselves. And remember the Serentiy Prayer.

Sylvia Browne's The Mystical Life of Jesus

2008-11-03T09:21:00.002-05:00

I think I will want to say more about this book and Browne's interpretation of scriptures and general deductions. But for now I simply recommend it.

December 9, 2008

The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that Browne is on the right track.
I can't quite agree with her on some points, and I don't much care for Francine (though I admit it's a very handy thing to have a voice from the other side).

One mistake that we make today is in thinking that people through the ages had the same thought processes as we have now. If you look at paintings, you will see that is not true. Perspective and proportionality in painting did not show up until the middle ages. Scenes are flat. Children are depicted as small adults.

I may have my times off, but 2000 years ago, everyone knew the world was flat. Christ knew otherwise, but he was not there to teach science. He came to teach us to love each other and to love God. Why? Because God loves us. All of us. Each of us.

All humans before us were like us in their humanity. And, like us, they made mistakes. Pointing fingers and postulation will not help us understand the past. What is important to me, as an individual, is separating my spirituality from my religious convictions.

Community is necessary for survival of our species. Church community is necessary for survival of our spirituality. Religion, however, often interferes with community as it wants more control. And as some religions are eradicated and others emerge, there begins a contest that no one can win.

Judaism, Christianity, Islam all began in the Middle East. Does that suggest early struggle for dominance or control? And look at the Middle East today. Though thanks to terrorism and technology, the Middle East is now worldwide.

If it were possible to keep politics out of religion, perhaps more people would embrace their spirituality.

But...the book: The Mystical Life of Christ. Read it and let me know what you think.

Bilderbergers and the Serenity Prayer

2008-11-03T09:20:00.002-05:00

Okay-- enough about the Bilderberger Society. If you want to know more, you can google it or check the JONES REPORT.

The Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can. . .
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Now, sometimes this sounds defeatist to me. Sometimes it sounds like a joke. But I do believe that if you apply it to your everyday life, you will discover its purpose.

Most of us really "can't fight city hall." Most of us have to work to pay the bills. Most of us have responsibilities beyond, and often more important than, ourselves. The much larger world of power, money, intrigue will go on around us and without us.

God grant me the courage to live according Your plan,
the strength to care for others. . .
and the love to make it all worthwhile.

Amen.

my comment on following post

2008-10-27T13:05:00.003-04:00

Thank you, Nancy, for an excellently presented argument against abortion. I remain pro-choice, but only in extreme situations. No one but the pregnant woman knows when her position is untenable. I do, however, abhor abortion being used as birth control. That is so 20th century... and all the centuries before that, I may add. Legal or illegal, there has always been abortion. Many women have suffered and/or died as a result of botched abortions. Roe v Wade was intended to save women's lives, as well as provide further sexual equality under the Constitution.

But look what happens: Legal abortion allows the man to escape all responsibility. Legal abortion leaves emotional and mental and spiritual scars on the woman, and the man whistles all the way home. Equality? Not by a long shot.

Not everyone agrees about CONTRAceptives, but I think most would agree that preventing life is a far higher road than killing it.

Abortion -- why not?

2008-10-26T13:34:00.001-04:00

published at www.GreenvilleOnline.com

October 25, 2008

I can never support a party that supports abortion

By Nancy Pavelka

Some years ago I would have been on the bandwagon for the Obama-Biden ticket. Then a dedicated liberal and feminist, I belonged to both the ACLU and NOW. I considered myself strongly pro-choice.

I was married at the age of 35 and became pregnant three years later. Due to my "advanced age," I was advised to undergo amniocentesis to detect possible genetic abnormalities. My husband and I agreed to the testing. Despite my recent return to the Christian faith, I was more convinced of my own weakness than of God's amazing power; I honestly did not know what I would do if confronted with the news that there was "a problem" with the baby.

So, at 16 weeks, we went to the Genetics Institute in the city where we lived. There, my husband and I were able to watch via ultrasound as they prepared to insert a long needle through my abdominal wall in order to draw the fluid needed for testing. Both the technicians and the doctor were used to performing many such procedures a week at a center where both prenatal counseling and abortion were offered.

Nonetheless, as the needle penetrated my uterine wall while we focused on the ultrasound monitor, the doctor said firmly, "Wait. She's checking it out." I in no way would have believed it had I not seen it, but in fact the fetus had swum over to the needle and had reached out a tiny finger to touch the intruder! Calmly, the doctor cautioned that he would suspend the procedure "until her curiosity is satisfied," as he said.

Sure enough, after a few seconds she swam away, and the doctor was able to complete the procedure. If I had previously considered aborting a "problem pregnancy," or any pregnancy, such an action was no longer even imaginable. The "genetic tissue" inside me was indeed a baby, an actual person.

Since that time I have met couples who have shared and sacrificed material blessings in order to adopt children, often across racial, cultural and even national lines. I have had the honor to know many families who have accepted both the challenges and blessings of raising children with special needs. Some of them have chosen to adopt the "unadoptable" -- now that's choice! Every one of the specious arguments for abortion that I myself had so glibly and ignorantly used has been torn down by the living testimonies of these loving and courageous families.

Moreover, I have come to see our national tolerance of abortion as contributing to many of our other societal ills. If women have the right to choose to kill babies who might hinder their plans or lifestyles, do men have the right to kill their pregnant wives or girlfriends for the same reason?

In fact, in a country where children are thought of as being in the way before they are even born, is it any wonder that violence against children is on the rise? Is it rational that our attitude regarding "when life begins" would allow both for violently sucking out the brains of a baby as it comes through the birth canal in partial-birth abortion and of the costly, high-tech medical interventions we rightly provide to save the lives of babies born prematurely? Why is it that a woman can go to a doctor for a partial-birth abortion with impunity, whereas if she throws the newborn in a dumpster, she can be arrested for child neglect, endangerment or murder?

How can we clamor for the lives and rights of animals and convicted capital criminals while ignoring that we have allowed the senseless killing of 50 million babies? We shout invective at our government for "killing our soldiers," volunteers aware of the risks involved, yet we do not stop voting for candidates who would sustain the killing of those helpless ones who have neither choice or voice. I wonder that the same attitude of "my right, not my responsibility" that we use to justify abortion has not been the underlying cause of our current financial crisis.

I cannot support a candidate, ticket or party which supports abortion. The issue is truly foundational. Life is precious and must be defended by those in power.

ProLife? ProAbortion? AntiAbortion? ProChoice?

2008-10-21T09:15:00.002-04:00

Labels. They are divisive. They are polarizing. They are propaganda. And in this country, don't we just love labels?

Consider this: Everyone is in favor of life-- well, maybe except some sociopaths and terrorists. No one is in favor of abortion, per se. Everyone desires that abortion NOT be used as birth control. Everyone wants to be able to choose, as much as they are able, what happens to their lives, to their bodies, to their futures.

The bigger problem for all Americans is the general devaluation of human life, at all stages of development. I recall the Lockerbee plane crash, caused by Islamic terrorists, and how the only rationale we could come up with for the senseless taking of human life without regard for consequence was that "they" do not value human life as "we" do.

Labels. Them and us. Them against us. Us vs them. World class playoffs. In the meantime, while they have not become much like us, we have become more like them. How can we expect any other culture to respect America when Americans do not respect themselves, when Americans do not respect all life?

I'm not a defeatist, but . . .

2008-10-20T13:25:00.003-04:00

I think that Powell's endorsement clinches Obama's win. Objecting is of no value, but i'm going to-- mostly because of the SONY game release being delayed because "many" Muslims object to mixing music with scripture. The day has already begun when the choices we make may not be our own. It is clear to me that Obama has been "chosen" (by whom is a mystery) to take us into the 21st century. That is why he has not had to prove himself or do anything in order to be elected to the highest office in our country. I do not see him, however, as a Federation president; but he will do as a pawn for this early in the change.

I am not a defeatist, however, and will vote for John McCain. But I can see the handwriting on the wall.

Change is inevitable. It is not always good. Be prepared.

Peace and God's Love to you all.

Dear People......

2008-10-09T17:09:00.003-04:00

Think. If you have children, think twice.

True I haven't been very vocal about the election, here, but I sure have been thinking about it. It's very scary. And we should be scared.

The 2008 election is the first U.S. presidential election fought on the internet. But how much truth are we getting?

Here is all I really want to say to you: If you want social or economic change, write, call, email your senators and congresspersons. Their job is to listen to you, to represent YOU. Tell them what you want.

If you want to live in a country where you have freedom to worship as you choose, or to not worship at all... if you want to live in a country with freedom of speech, with freedom to bear arms... if you want to live in a country where your God-given right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is protected, then for president of this country, vote for the person who has leadership and political experience and who is ready, willing, and able to make the tough decisions.

Amen.

The First Debate

2008-09-27T09:39:00.004-04:00

I thought McCain's trying to postpone was a bit of a gaffe, though the reason he gave made Obama come off non too well by refusing.

I think the ceiling is too high on Obama's plan to increase taxes ONLY for those whose income is greater than a quarter million dollars. 150k... okay.

I think McCain's plan to give families $5,000 tax credit to buy their own medical insurance would be a disaster. Group insurance gets low rates because of the size of the group. If employers stopped including med insurance as part of a benefits pkg because of the tax credit, most all families would still not be able to purchase their own as comprehensive med costs way more than $400 a month with reliable insurers. And a tax credit is not cash in hand. And most people, if they have some extra cash, are not going to run out and buy med insurance.

I thought it was funny how, in spite of the many attempts by Jim Lehrer, McCain and Obama persisted in talking to the moderator instead of to each other..

FOR DEBATE 2 I WANT TO SEE THEM IN ARMCHAIRS, facing each other and not playing to the cameras or audience.

The bailout issues --wow-- McCain was right on about cutting spending by congress, eliminating pork barrel spending, limit on CEO salaries and packages..... but Obama kept dancing around the real issue and insisting that the 800 billion he is planning for new programs is necessary.

Yes we have to improve education in this country, but there is no reason on earth why this can't be done within programs and monies already in place. At the top, eliminate tenure.

At the bottom, require daycare and preschool caregivers to have teaching certification. Exception would be made for those whose children are cared for by friends or family members. There are way many early learning toys, programs, even television for babies to warrant a national program of new money. Parents should be advised that the sooner children are in a structured learning environment, the more focused they will be for learning.

Heart Disease, Fast Food, and Cigarettes

2008-09-21T21:58:00.004-04:00

Seems to me I write mostly about things that bother me... dumb stuff, really, as they are usually things i can do nothing about except rant.

In the past 6 weeks I've had an angiogram and a balloon angioplasty. I am trying and trying harder again to quit smoking. I haven't been able to go to the gym, which i had been doing since January. The number of pills I take is tripled. I am only 62.

What I'm saying is I have gripes . . . and the really big ones have nothing to do with the circus of the current presidential race, nor with the 700 BILLION DOLLAR bailout of giant banking organizations.

Along with everyone else and her brother, i could jump on those soap boxes, but I wouldn't be saying anything new or different than anyone else. And darn near everyone is already sick of hearing opinions on the candidates. Besides, some headline I saw today says the playing field is leveled, with both Obama and McCain having raised about the same amount of campaign monies. The real "race card," as always, is green.

(to be continued)

Why I Am Pro-Choice

2008-08-17T09:52:00.003-04:00

I didn't say anything last night about Obama's and McCain's stance on abortion. Hey, I'd already stayed up past my bedtime to watch the forum LOL. But the fact is that I agree 100% with Obama. I also have to agree with McCain.

Do I see abortion as a killing of a human... or as the killing of a potential human?
This facet of the question is moot. Aborting a fetus is killing. Something.

But here is why I have to be pro-choice: GOD GAVE US FREE WILL.

To legislate against women having control over their own bodies takes away their free will.

It might be like giving the death penalty to men who pee in public. Or in the woods. Or while fishing. Or in the shower. (oops--what people do in their own showers is still private in this country)

Death penalty? Incarceration takes away much of a criminal's free will. The death penalty takes away a life.

So, to me, abortion and the death penalty are both killing of human beings. Homicide.

But abortion is the result of a human being's exercising free will, while putting a killer to death is institutional OT eye-for-an eye revenge. Statistics prove that the death penalty is not a deterrent to major crime.

(How can you talk about abortion without talking about the death penalty?)

Both candidates last night-- one pro-choice, the other pro-life-- agreed on how to reduce the number of abortions in this country: Education. Prevention. Return to moral values. Providing options. One headline this morning said they were "split on abortion." Not so. Which is why I'm talking about it now.

Their only differences were in their labels. Pro-choice. Pro-life. Labels are so cozy for generalizations. But Pro-Choice people are NOT anti-life. And Pro-Life people are not anti God-given free will.

The similar goals of these two groups are much greater than their differences. And it seemed clear to me during the forum that both candidates are well aware of that.

And that is the main reason I did not mention abortion in last night's post.

McCain-Obama 2008

2008-08-16T21:54:00.002-04:00

Talk about wishful thinking, following the CNN presidential forum this evening, I would love to see a McCain-Obama ticket.

Oh, Of course I know that's not possible. No matter how often each of them "reaches across the aisle," a split-party ticket for president of the United States would mean the end of partisan politics. That may happen someday, but not overnight.

So why McCain-Obama instead of Obama-McCain?

Both candidates, with minor differences, espoused the same ideals. Practically speaking, McCain would be much tougher on energy and "defeating" evil. Obama, in contrast, would have alternative sources of energy explored and affordable, and would "confront" evil.

McCain came off stronger than Obama in his Q&A session with Pastor Warren. I was happy to note, however, that there were no soft issues.

Obama came off as very likable, very personable, humble, and eminently committed to his (our) goals. He is my older brother.

McCain appeared to me as equally likable, personable, and equally committed to the future of America. He showed a warm and quick sense of humor. His readiness to drift into anecdotes by way of answering some questions, I fear, would leave some people with no idea what his answer was. And in fact one question-- would he commit to a program for helping moderate to low income families in adopting some of the world's 148 million orphans-- was answered only with the story of his and Cindy's adoption of their daughter. Next question?

Okay. That does not say well for McCain. But the questions he answered fast and tough-- Drill for offshore oil and drill now; Stop excessive government spending on silliness (like bear DNA testing in CA); Make the congress work more for their money, and limit raises and spending; Equal opportunity for education has to mean choice of schools; (He) will follow bin Laden to the gates of hell if he has to, but he will get him; (We) cannot permit extremist Islamic terrorists to determine our future -- these answers were firm, no mugwhumping. He is my dad.

So who do I trust for president, my brother or my dad? Gosh, they are both good people. They both seem so very honest and sincere. I have to decide. Okay, my dad has much more life experience. On the other hand, my brother is in tune with my love of peace and my hopes for a kinder, gentler world. (Is there an echo in here?)

Russia has just shown us that we are several steps yet from a kinder, gentler world. In case we needed a reminder.

We are still defending our own freedoms, and doing what we can to help others defend theirs. Since I have to decide... I must vote for Dad. But I wish, I wish, I wish he will be able to let my brother help him.

A Cure for Mass Abortions

2008-08-06T15:08:00.004-04:00

Abortion "rights" are, to me, too complex to say yea or nay. I do believe women are equal to men, right up there between angels and animals, on an equal plane, spiritually, with men. I do not believe women exist simply to be vessels and "helpmates" to men.

I believe a woman has the right to determine what happens to her body. If it were men who were so easily impregnated, all other things being as they are, abortion would be a non-issue.

I abhor abortion being used as birth control. I also abhor the onus of pregnancy being solely on women, mentally, emotionally. And most often, after the birth, physically, legally, mentally, emotionally.

For these reasons, I have to be pro-choice. But I am also pro-stopping-the-insanity of mass abortion. Does it require more than education for us to outgrow this shameful phase of democratic evolution? And if so, what more is there?

It is ironic that we refer to the "abortion issue" when abortion prevents issue.

It is ironic that we struggle for survival of the species, while throwing away so many members.

Perhaps in countries where infant mortality is very high, it is easy to devalue life and turn one's most basic drive into a political agenda.

What if we were to count abortions into the infant mortality rate for the United States?

Wouldn't that be ironic?

Ruby "Obama" Tuesday

2008-08-05T15:06:00.002-04:00

Very amusing. I waited 3 days for this: the demolition of the last "old" Ruby Tuesday Restaurant. Was to be at 3 P.M. ET August 5. And it was. Right on time, except for buffering the live feed.

Bunch of people are gathered across the street from the demo site, a Ruby Tuesday restaurant "right here in Mount Holly, Ohio," says Ruby's spokesman. "To show our commitment to change, we are blowing up the last of the old Ruby Tuesday restaurants. Everyone ready?"

Applause from the crowd and they all face the Ruby Tuesday's across the street. Countdown: Five. Four. Three. Two. ONE!

Explosion and dust clouds from ... nearby. Camera pans and you just catch the marquee of what was ... maybe a Chili's. Possibly an Applebee's.

Now is that change we can believe in, or what? Proving the old French proverb: The more things change, the more they remain the same.

I think the website is showing replays of the initial demolition. http://www.rubytuesday.com Good show.

Obama too Unspecific

2008-08-02T15:27:00.005-04:00

The things he says, the promises he makes, are so very politically phrased. We should wonder.

I mean, we allllll want change. So many things cannot go on as they are. What exactly are the changes he proposes, what are the ones he is able to make? Do I want to take up with the "Wishful Thinking" party?

I do, however, heartily applaud Barak's opposition to "reparations" for slavery. And I agree: any such monies would be better spent on equality in education. And better education for all.

Reparations for slavery, indeed. There is no one living today who was a slave in the United States pre-Civil war. There is also no one alive who held slaves from that era. It is way past time for Blacks to start taking care of themselves. The Germans did it, the Irish did it, the Jews did it, the Asians are doing it, Hispanics are trying. Gays are doing it, women are doing it, Little Leaguers are doing it.

As you know from previous posts, I do not approve the term "African-American." If that persists, I must insist on being referred to as European-American. You can see how divisive such terms are, and how harmful. But so is being reduced to a color.

We are Americans. Most of us are citizens of this country. We have to get over our most obvious differences and get on with our lives, so our children can get on with their lives, and our grandchildren, etc.

Can Obama remove the ethnicity issue from applications? That would be a start.

But more than that... can he tell us what his views on religion are, how he would describe his own spirituality? I don't care about his past. El pasado es pasado. But he wants to be part of MY future, and that of my friends and family. So I want to know who he is now. And I want to know what he honestly thinks he can accomplish as President of these United States.

Who wouldn't?

p.s. Can he do anything about the epidemic of abortions? Can he do anything about Supreme Court justices who are far too liberal? Can he disband the ACLU? There is so much more to this election than Iraq issues. How does he intend to deal with terrorists? Can he stop our government from squandering money on governments that are enemies of the U.S.? What are YOUR questions?

Am I Wrong?

2008-08-01T00:01:00.001-04:00

Do you think i'm wrong to want a president who publicly claims to be Christian? I don't care if he goes to church-- that's usually for political show. But i want to know that he believes in God and that he tries to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ-- not Mohammed.

I'm all set for socialism... we've been heading that way for a long time. And John Steinbeck was always my mentor. Canada can do it. UK can do it. Can we do it better?

But an atheist or Moslem for president? Our country has been moving toward atheism for some time, thanks to supreme court judges and the ACLU. I do believe we have to fight that, keep it from becoming more pervasive. It's no wonder our children, our young people are depressed and angry and confused. Aren't they likely to grow up to be depressed, angry, and confused adults? The homes with God as their foundation teach the "golden rule"; homes that are humanist teach half the golden rule: love your neighbor as yourself. And then children, we all, see neighbor killing neighbor. And who can answer why? And far too many homes teach no rule.

Of course, too many people have stopped asking why. The answers are far too complex, and so we all, and our children too, take neighbor hating neighbor as a given. Watch out for number one. Is that depressing? Does it make you angry? Do you feel confused about who you are, why you're here, where you're going?

It should.

I Don't Want to be White

2008-07-14T01:40:00.004-04:00

Due to events and observations since my post of Feb 17, 2008 (I Am German-American, NOT), I have changed my mind about all that. I am European-American.

I realized that I was going about it the wrong way, trying to get "African-Americans" and "Asian-Americans" and ... Hispanics... to see how separating and divisive such labels are-- when we are all Americans. Now I realize that being simply an American is passé. Or simply being an American. Or being a simple American. All out-of-date. Being an American, of any sort, is complex. That is the conclusion I have now reached.

My epiphany came while filling out a survey form:
Part D: Do you consider yourself
1) African-American
2) Asian-American
3) Hispanic
4) Native American
5) White
6) Other

Not only is "White" way down the list, it is BORINGGGGG!

Vanilla. Mashed Potatoes. Rice. Pale Ale.

Gimmee stout, the dark stuff, preferrably warm. Gimmee sauerbraten. I am Other. And if anyone wants details, I am European-American.

WTG, Ian Usher !

2008-06-20T22:52:00.006-04:00

This man is selling his LIFE. More exactly, he is selling his old life... and hoping to make enough money to start a new life. His eBay auction begins June 22 and will end, unless he relists, June 29.

What a grand idea! In theory.

I am soon to be 62, and I have lived in several different states, many different cities. Each move gave me the sensation, however illusory, that I was beginning a new life. But by this age I have to concede that "they" are right: wherever you go, there you are.

The idea of selling everything I have and "starting over" somewhere else is highly appealing. On close examination, though, I expect I could raise only enough money to stay where I am. And I don't want a roommate. So you won't see a listing for my life on eBay.

Also, because I have lived all over the country, my friends are all over the country. Ian includes his friends in his life package. All I could include is my friends' email addies. And that won't help a potential buyer find her way around Buffalo. I am reminded of the cartoon where the cat sitting at the computer console says, "Eureka! I sold the dog on eBay!" To me, that is in the realm of "be careful what you wish for." Your life as you know it, or your perceived enemy: Once it is gone, there must be a huge abyss. The cat will become bored, get old, get fat from lack of being chased by the dog, and die. Alas.

Good luck Ian Usher.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080620/wr_nm/auction_life_dc

craigslist

2008-05-05T19:43:00.004-04:00

Just want to say--about that week the family went to the Outer Banks: Linda, the cat sitter, I found on http://www.craigslist.com. If you've not searched craigslist for items wanted or services, or personals, you are missing a nice size boat.

Craigslist does not charge for posting ads for items for sale nor for items wanted nor for free items nor for personals. From what I've seen, the only charges would be for job postings.

Check it out. If you do not live in one of the major cities listed, click on your State, then whatever is the closest city to you.

With higher prices for near everything, craigslist is a great deal.

TAX REBATE CHECKS

2008-04-28T19:34:00.002-04:00

Dick's and Mary's comments (see post below) about the good old days was in response to an email. The email pointed out that most places people will spend their rebates sends the money out of the country... to China, to Mexico, to Saudi Arabia, etc.

The email suggested that the only way to keep those billions of dollars in our own economy is to spend them at garage sales, thrift stores, locally owned businesses.

That's all well and good, but as I was reading this afternoon, someone pointed out that most of these monies will go to pay down existing debt. Hmmmmm. Too many of us know that when you make a dent in a credit card balance, it only makes room to charge more.

If you can pay off a card so that you can close it, great. It's one less bill. (As long as you don't go setting up another to take its place.)

The biggest problem I see in American society today is the focus on T H I N G S.
Of course, everyone likes nice things, and there is no problem with having some. But you have to set limits.

When there are children's clothing items out there that other children will steal from your child... how nice is that?

When you drive a vehicle that someone will take from you at gunpoint... how nice is that?

Simplify, simplify, simplify. Life is a buffet, but waste is wrong. Take what you need and need what you take. Even if the need is for a little desert.

Pax et bonum.

Economy Stimulus Checks

2008-04-28T18:50:00.002-04:00

A note from dear friends:

Dear Betsy,

Remember how many things Americans used to make (or repair or mend) at their own homes?

Socks were mended if you wore a hole in them. [Underwear, too]

Peas came from the grocery in pods, and you shelled the peas. I thought that was fun, when I was a tiny boy and was permitted to watch it happen in the kitchen. I remember that a freshly-shelled pea tasted good.

Cakes were baked by a nice person called your mother who also baked pies and bread in the oven.

Kids made things out of big boxes, like a club house. Tree houses were built by family members. My brother carved guns out of wood or soap.

Mary's brother made wine in the basement. And he made his own fresh Italian sausage.

Her mother made pasta from flour, not from a box.

We did buy things. But yes, they were almost always made in America. Will you tell the American people that what we need are the good old days again?

Thanks from Dick & Mary
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Dick and Mary,

Of course, you are so very right. A throw-away society eventually throws away society. Maybe that's what's been happening for the last 20 or 30 years.

A basic economic principle is the law of supply and demand: Demand goes up, supply goes down ... things cost more. I wonder what socks would cost if people still mended their old ones.

Socks is a eupehmism, here, for darn (excuse the pun) near everything.

On the other hand, with families needing two or three incomes, who has time to darn socks?

I think there's just been too much darn keeping up with the Joneses. I always used to blame media and Madison Avenue. But the root of the problem is deeper. Mad Ave and the media know how to play people. And the problem that has led to disposable household goods and clothing is that it is human to be curious; human to want variety; human, alas, to be greedy.

Remember the movie Field of Dreams? Shoeless Joe Jackson inspires Kevin Costner's character to build a baseball field. The voice would whisper, "If you build it, they will come." He did. They did. And people came from all over.

Generally, and this has probably always been true, a new gadget or product comes along and people want it. An improvement on an old product comes along, and people want it. Media and advertising make thousands, hundreds of thousands, of people want the new thing. "Not your father's Oldsmobile." Remember that one? (Of course, not all advertising works--fortunately.)

STOP.

Yes, stop. That is what most of us need to do. Take care of what you have. Get by with what you have. Be thankful for what you have. Maybe it's GRATITUDE that is missing from daily life which makes many think they need things they don't have. Or bigger things than what they have. Or newer things than what they have. Or simply improved things that they already have.

Reminds me -- did you know that you can now buy frozen peas in polybags for steaming in the microwave? No need to even vent the bag, just toss it in for 60 seconds, take it out, pour contents into serving dish and ... voila!

Love,
Betsy

Hokey Kinoki

2008-04-22T00:12:00.002-04:00

You've seen the commercial. Maybe you've even done some research. Maybe you've even tried the pads! Well, that's cool... and if you have tried the kinoki pads, please comment here and give your opinion.

The bottom line for me: If it seems too good to be true, it probably isn't. But I did do some research.

Okay, in case you don't know... kinoki is touted to be some ancient Japanese form of detoxification of the body. You sleep with these patches on your feet, and when you wake in the morning, they are discolored with the poisons from your body. You wear new patches every night until you wake with clean pads. Sure easy enough.

Not cheap, though. For $20 you get enough for a week. I don't think I've seen where it says how long detoxifying will take. But I feel safe in saying that it will need to be done every so often, like once a month.

If you want to detoxify, there are many, and probably better, and for sure cheaper ways to do that. But if you want to know more about kinoki pads-- as seen on tv-- i suggest an EXQUISITELY boring series of videos on www.youtube.com Search Oliver Chomers. Or Kinoki. But Ollie has a 6 video set on his personal experience with the pads. It's got to be a couple of hours of viewing. I lasted 16 minutes: the first video and 2 minutes into the second. Then I recalled my bottom line: If it seems too good to be true, it probably isn't.

If ANYONE watches the series of videos... or even the last one, I would very much like a report in comments here. My bottom line kept me from watching video #6.

YMCA

2008-04-11T12:25:00.004-04:00

Yes, this is a tribute to YMCAs everywhere. The following video was made yesterday at the Delaware branch of Western NY YMCA.
I joined January 12, of this year, 3 months ago. With few exceptions I work out 3 times a week, using the cardio and Nautilus rooms, as well as the sauna. I thank the Y for being available, and I thank my daughter Lynette for making it possible. Everyone needs a support group for some things, and she is my support group for getting to the Y 3 times a week.

If you think I look like I'm having fun on the rowing machine, you are right. No matter your age, ability, or disability, the YMCA has exercises you can do... in water or on dry land. The only thing you have to do is ... get there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiyDDSTVhQA

Bottom line is...if I can do it, so can you.

Tempus Fugit

2008-03-16T21:28:00.002-04:00

Time flies. It really does. Here it is mid-March, and all the things I've been meaning to write the past two weeks have been forgotten. That's one problem with aging ... write it down or forget it.

Coming up is a week-long vacation with family at the Outer Banks. My three children, their mates, two grandchildren, both parents of one son-in-law, possibly one parent of another --and two or three poodles. No cats allowed, so my friend Karma must stay at home.

He will have good care, regular feeding, some company every day. In fact, Linda will probably play with him and brush him more than I do. Hope he'll take me back.

When I return, about April 1st, I'll let you know how it went. For me and for Karma.

The 1950s Revisited

2008-02-28T09:35:00.002-05:00

First, read the following about a housekeeping article currently circulating in emails

http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.asp

Well, it's herstory, for sure. Many men of the '50s hoped for this, too many tried to make it happen. and for sure many were successful... father knows best, leave it to beaver, ozzie and harriet....donna reed, loretta young....even bess myerson (who later became ambassador to some African country. Their public personas all represented the image of domesticity for women. Fortuantely, their private lives were far different and it's their private lives that contributed to women's equality movements in the '60s and '70s (and still now).

But those of us whose mothers were young or youngish housewives in the 1950s remember that time with mixed emotions. I recall my mother telling me about "woman's lot in life" when i was early married and finding for myself, as I'd learned at home, that domestic bliss was anything but blissful. And, yet, in 2008 I recall the 1950s as a happy haven.

You must recollect stories of the suffragettes, who did suffer (and many were beaten, cast off, even died) for the right for women to vote. And it was my mother's mother who lived in that time. Herstory is replete with cyclical change. This early in the 21st Century sees women vote, battle in Iraq, die for their country; we have "won" the right to shorten our lives by adopting the stresses of "a man's world." Power struggles, greed, ambition, lust, overindulgence, politics. . . .

But perhaps that's as it should be, if we are truly equal. The point, though, is not that we laugh at the statements made in the housekeeping article. If we remember, we shudder -- and hope to meet men who will be outraged at those sentiments.

I Am A German-American. NOT!

2008-02-17T19:16:00.005-05:00

This whole American bending-over-backwards to try to accommodate all peoples according to their desires is ludicrous. Asinine. Nuts. And grossly counter-productive. (see also my post of Dec 21 '07)

Let's play the game: I really am not German-American. I am German-Dutch-French-Irish-Native-Scots-American. Three-quarters German, yes, but my ancestors were clearly not xenophobic. I am an American. My great-great-great grandparents were Americans, the moment they became citizens.

I do not know any Blacks who came from Africa and have not become citizens; ergo, I do not know any African-Americans. I do know a Chinese woman who lives in California. She is not a citizen. She is a Chinese National. She is not American simply by virtue of living here.

The hundreds of thousands of Mexican Nationals living and working in the United States without paying taxes, without documentation is a problem with an easy solution: Permit them to register for citizenship classes and ESL classes. How much more cost-effective would that be than building a wall the length of the Mexican border?

Mexicans, of course, are not the only illegals. They are just high-profile because they are the laborers in the fields, among many other sweaty occupations. Migrant farm camps are not rife with Canadians or Asians.

My dream is that all who want to be American citizens be allowed and given opportunity to do just that. In English, however accented.

But back to what I think is the germ in the American Flu: ethnicity.

I haven't studied this history, just have lived through the last 60 years of it. Correct me if I'm wrong. To try to "make amends" for something that happened hundreds of years ago, and something that no one alive today has experience of or responsibility for, the government of this country has allowed the fiasco we live with at this writing. What was once a "melting pot" of people from all over the world has become a thousand pots, all stewing and roiling and threatening to boil over.

Blacks do not want to be called black, right? I hear you. I'm not crazy about being categorized as white. PEOPLE HAVE NAMES. Use them. Take ethnic classifications off most all forms. What's the point? We have a census every 10 years, why not wait for the demographics? And, meanwhile, your neighbors are Joe, Lucy, Bobbie, Kanesha, Mike, the old guy on the corner, the blonde in the duplex..... Yes, the blonde could be dark or have almond shaped eyes or any number of possibilities. But exact descriptions are not necessary except to find someone.

Okay, I'm being only slightly facetious. But I know there is a better way for us to get along. All colors, ages, sexes, religions. There MUST be. We can start, those of us who are, and those of us who will be, by being Americans. It's where we live. The United States' Constitution applies to all citizens. Be one, or be separate. But if separate, do not expect the Constitution to apply to you.

2008-02-14T22:03:00.002-05:00

HAPPY ST. VALENTINE'S DAY

While awaiting execution, Valentine wrote letters to his friends and supporters and followers from his prison cell, assuring them of his love for them and that there was no need to worry about him. Because of this, Valentine is known as the patron saint of letter writers.

These days, emails, phone calls, text and instant messages would seem all to qualify, at least when the purpose is to let them know you are all right and that you care about the recipient.

All those emails we send-- jokes, cartoons, interesting tidbits -- serve the same purpose. The subtext is always "I consider you a friend and I am your friend, and I am thinking of you." They are all "Valentines."

The Rise and Fall of America

2008-02-08T01:53:00.001-05:00

That would be the US of A.

The rise is attributed to Industry, Ingenuity, Initiative. The fall, we are in process, is due to Imitation, Insousiance, Implacable greed. Where was the turning point?

Many years I've pondered that question, alternatively coming up with Advertising, Media, Technology, and now Credit cards.

Because there have always been Haves and Have-nots, I suspect there has always been credit of a sort. Debtors' prisons a thing of the past, main stream society is full of debtors. The days of owing your soul "to the company store" may be history, but most of today's debtors owe their soul to Visa, Mastercard, Discover, Chase Bank, and numerous other lending and credit institutions.

Credit and Advertising, I used to think, is a chicken-or-egg conundrum: which came first? But I have decided that credit is a much older, if not ancient, societal flaw based on the inevitablity of class differences in an imperfect world.

Okay. Credit first. Most anyone could always get credit, provided they had steady income and/or collateral of some sort. No one wanted to bet the farm on next season's harvest, but it happened.

Then Advertising is seeing people have more money potential than income and the lid comes off the instant gratification pot. Technology and design feverishly try to keep pace with the imaginary money train, and Madison Avenue employs psychology to persuade even the most frugal of us that if we don't have "it," we need "it," and we need "it" now.

Don't you love the eBay commercials where no matter what "It" is, you can get it on eBay. And you can use the new Paypal or eBay credit cards.

Cool.

NOT.

How many different brands and types of toothpaste, cereal, toilet paper, deodorant (do we really need deodorant?), coffee, tea . . . are necessary? How many different designs of toothbrushes? And you know this is not even close to the tip of the iceberg lettuce.

Hold on... there is hope. www.feedthepig.org tells us to stop and think before impulse purchasing. Save for a rainy day? What a concept!

All across America grassroots groups are getting the word out about all the things we can do without . . . the multi-purposes of WD-40, duct tape, peroxide, used dryer sheets, etc., that can save us big dollars on the quick fixes that come in shiny boxes.

Listen up, Americans: God helps those who help themselves. Not those who help themselves to things that aren't affordably theirs.

First step to sanity-- turn off the TV. It is up to each individual to control the media to suit his or her needs. Stop letting media control you. Keep it from controlling your children.

CREDIT CARDS

2008-01-29T21:23:00.000-05:00

Yep, new topic. Will bbks to opine.

Previous topic, Depression: I'm too depressed to write more about it.
But you should know that if you are always bored, suffer ennui, think you are lazy, procrastinate all the time, lose interest in hobbies and/or friends.... you are probably depressed.

Anger and/or frustration are often sources of depression.

Situational depression and chronic depression may exist alone, but can overlap... and immobilize.

Fear is okay, often a good thing. It's okay to feel terrorized as long as you don't become petrified. Failure to act, to seek help is your worst enemy. God helps those who help themselves. Be your own best friend.

Depressed? Bored? Lazy?

2008-01-25T08:47:00.000-05:00

Where did I leave off of last post? Oh, yes... throw money at it.

Situational depression, if it's true depression and not just momentary unhappiness, does not respond well to money. People go into a funk, don't want to see friends, don't want to go shopping, don't want to talk about it, sometimes don't eat, sometimes overeat. They might bury themselves in a book or a project, shutting out the world. Until some event triggers a release of the depression: a new love interest, a cleaning frenzy, the awakening of the realization that they are only depriving themselves. Often, the trigger is being asked for help by someone with worse problems.

Chronic depression, on the other hand, loves money. When I am in a casino, I look around me and judge most people I see, eyes glazed and fixed on video screens, to be in the pain of depression. They are looking for a reason to be happy, to celebrate, to party, to help others, to right wrongs, to fix problems. Their credit cards are already maxed out, but a jackpot would give them the rush they need, the surge of emotion that reminds them they are alive and vital and real.

Bipolar people, when they have money, are gamblers and shopaholics. They are generous and eager to help others ... until the money runs out. Their lives follow a simple cycle: money --> no money --> money --> no money, etc.

Oh, I know I paint with a broad brush, but everything starts somewhere.

Okay. Nap time.

Depression? Or Boredom? Or Laziness?

2008-01-11T17:57:00.000-05:00

Good question. Or two questions. Sort of like "Is it real, or is it Memorex?"

It's often difficult to tell, I think, between boredom and depression. In recent years, it's rather common to get diagnoses of depression. Yeah, I'm on the pill: Celexa. Been on lots of things over the years. As a child I was always bored, yet I remember many happy events from childhood. Guess when I wasn't having a happy time, I was bored, depressed.

As an adult who's been in therapy, off and on, mostly on, for the past 25 years, I have several theories and attitudes toward "depression."

First, it's necessary to differentiate between situational and clinical, or chronic, depression.

Depending on age, gender, life experience . . , situational depression can be the result of most any negative feelings and events: not being asked to Timmy's birthday party, failing Algebra, serious acne, the death of a close friend or family member, divorce, moving away from a place you liked. . . anger, jealousy, envy.

Situational depression also stems sometimes from positive feelings and events: being awarded responsibility, getting a promotion, winning a competition that brings unwanted attention, having a baby. . .

Time heals all wounds. That's the treatment for situational depression, if you live through it. Situational depression also responds well to philosophy. "Tomorrow is another day," says Scarlett O'Hara after losing everything. A bit blithe and too fast, but same thing.

Chronic depression, and here I am still largely uneducated, is ongoing and time alone is not a treatment. Yeah, yeah. Chemical imbalance, etc. I know, but I don't know what it means. The technicalities. But it often runs in families (noses run in families lol) and can co-exist with occasional situational depression. For me, the "black holes" in my life have been those times when situational depression piggybacked on my clinical depression. It's an awful weight.

I do think there is a clear test to determine whether the problem is depression or boredom and, if depression, whether situational or clinical: Throw money at it.

Clinical depression and boredom, or ennui, share ---oops time for Monk.

2007-12-25T09:55:00.000-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Denying the Holocaust

2007-12-21T01:13:00.000-05:00

Today a friend emailed to me a "Memorial" to all those who died in the Holocaust. The email claims that United Kingdom schools have removed Holocaust classes from the curriculum.

Of course, I had to check that with Snopes. I check everything that seems the least bit unlikely.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/holocaust.asp

So now I have to say what's really been bugging me for some time now: I'm about fed up to here (picture chin) with people tip-toeing around gender, ethnic, religious, weight-challenged, height-challenged, brain-challenged, age-challenged minorities. It's the story of the Old Man and the Donkey over and over and over again. There is no way to please all of the people all of the time. To paraphrase Lincoln: You can please some of the people all of the time; you can please all of the people some of the time; but you cannot please all of the people all of the time.

House rules for planet Earth: Say what you mean and mean what you say; and never, ever deny Truth.

New adage: There is no Truth in statistics.

And that's the truth pffffftttttt.

December 17 Monologue

2007-12-17T21:29:00.000-05:00

No one leads a perfect live. No human, anyway. I cannot imagine that any of my ancestors were perfect. In fact, I would like to know as much as possible about their lives in order to appreciate and accept my own failings, my own humanity.

Mother once told me she often wondered, when she was young, if her father were a pervert... because he went to the movies by himself so often. But she said he was so religious that she could never believe it of him. Of course we know now that some perverts can be very religious. They are human. I don't think he was because I lived with Gram and Grampy near every weekend and some school vacations, in their apartment on Eastman Ave. from when I was 7 until he died when i was 11. But I am glad she told me because I like going to movies by myself and know there is nothing wrong with it. I knew them better than my parents. At least for many years.

I don't want to know if Great Grandmother Siebert picked her nose or if Great Grandfather Behr wore dirty underwear. But I'd love to know things they did with their lives, and what made them sad, happy, depressed, angry. . . . The little things that we all share.

Great Uncle Gregory is said to have killed himself. He is buried in Mt. Hope, as a Catholic burial was not available to suicides then. Mother said she didn't believe he had, thought it must have been murder or an accident, the way he was shot. But no one has details. I still want to know.

And Great Uncle Joseph who died when he was two years old. Who was watching him when he slipped down in his highchair and suffocated? What agony did great-grandparents Held go through? What was their life like after?

The lives of regular people slide into oblivion, but it is never a smooth passage for any person. Perhaps for Uncle Joe it was pretty smooth. Even at that age, though, he was sure to have been cold, hungry, tired, hurt, sad, as well as happy many times.

For many years, Father came home from work and took Greg and Dave upstairs for a belting. Daily. Mother said it was because of the way he had been raised, some hard-headed German belief that whippings was how to make boys good. Maybe it worked. Maybe the girls should've had daily doses of the belt too. We'll never know.

I'm not speaking ill of the dead. Life is fascinating. Why shouldn't we be more fascinated by knowing more of a life. By tuning into the life of another. Maybe we can't walk a mile in another person's shoes, but we can follow their footprints, wherever they lead.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.... anyone's life.

Peace

Happy Holidaze

2007-12-06T11:48:00.000-05:00

The older you get, the smarter, right? More organized? More knowing what to expect? So it seems to me. And yet everyday holds some new information, a surprise or two; gives opportunity for a laugh or a tear, or both, maybe even at the same time.

Life has been a bit . . . odd since Thanksgiving. My sister Cathy emails all to tell of that holiday with her children; then others emailed all telling similar stories, which got into family memories and some 50 emails later resulted in my niece Tanya creating a family website and compiling all the messages to date. see http://www.getphpbb.com/phpbb/index.php?mforum=thebehrfamily

I think what a perfect time for all of this, the month between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Memories abound with major holidays, and are often very near the surface. Once friends and family start sharing memories, no matter the time or space differentials, everyone feels closer, less alone, less different.

Depression at this time of year is not uncommon. Feelings of anxiety and inadequacy and financial stress can be overwhelming. Many people would just as soon hibernate from Halloween to New Year's day.

Sharing memories of the past with friends and family is good therapy. Even if the memory is not a pleasant one. One memory triggers another or more and the ball gets rolling. Roll with it.

Communicating with others, about anything, via any means is vital to good health: physical, emotional, mental, intellectual, spiritual.

It is not too early to think about new year resolutions. Start a blog (weblog). I use this one http://www.blogspot.com/. Start a family and/or friends bulletin board. Take time to smell the roses in your life. Write letters, emails, send postcards.

Be thankful every day. And every day say happy birthday, Jesus.

Epiphany

2007-12-01T11:36:00.001-05:00

It was bound to happen sooner or later. Later is good; sooner would've been better. But like the majority of events in our lives, we don't get to choose the demographics of their occurrence.

I have found out what the fortune cookie meant. (see Fortune Cookie post)

The insignificant details of the past are the hurts and disappointments and frustrations and failures. While we learn from those things, or should, carrying them with us is useless baggage.

Events that make us, however momentarily, happy and secure and wise . . . they are the things that move us forward, help us to become better people.

I still adhere to Jungian theory, the existentialist bits and also the collective unconscious theory; but I see their purpose in community. Because we are all different, strangers inside, each of us has something unique to contribute to the whole of humanity. Whatever it is, noticeable or not, our individual uniqueness participates in the weaving of the fabric that is destined to become the Great Undivided.

All of the past, good, bad, and ugly, makes us what we are at any given moment. At this moment ask yourself if you like who you are right now. If you can answer yes, then you do not carry the baggage of insignificant details. If you answer no, dump your burden, lighten your heart, rejoice in the now, and move into the next moment as a free human being, prepared to make another person smile, to ease another person's grief, to lessen another person's pain.

Love God above all else, yes, but love your neighbor as yourself. You see the intrinsic dilemma here? You must love yourself, as God has made you, before you can love others equally.

Evil in the world is perpetrated by those who do not love themselves. Even if they appear vain and haughty and selfish and rude. . . that does not come from self love. Those things come from insignificant details of the past, often from self loathing.

too late smart

2007-11-29T12:36:00.000-05:00

At long last i adopt Jung as mentor. I should have seen it coming. We are born alone and we die alone. We are strangers to friends and family.

Small wonder that when extraterrestrials are depicted they all look the same. Except, of course, when they get together in an interplanetary bar. But E.T. and his kind all look the same-- or at least they do to us.

We have different facial features, different skin colorations, idiosyncratic walks, speech patterns, body language, facial expressions, hair color, languages . . . and that is so we can recognize one another. So we can make famlies and communities. Individually, humans are so weak and vulnerable that community is necessary for survival. But, however closely we knit ourselves to others, the fabric of a community can never be complete, is always subject to rips and unraveling.

Gangs and cults attempt to make whole cloth of their communities. Mind control through fear. Aristotle said fear was the best motivator. That is true for gangs and cults. And armies. Get them before they get us. United we stand, divided we fall.

But for most of us, the best motivator is hope. Hope that the future explains the past. Hope that the past will make us smarter, braver, stronger in the future. As a species, we need only to live long enough for hopes to be realized.

The Great Hope is in the promise of Jesus Christ. When all those who are saved for eternity gather, that community will be fabric indestructible, impervious to all assaults. It is only by our souls that we become indistinguishable and One. The Great Undivided. That, I believe, is God.

Our physical selves, however, will do what they can to prevent unification. There is in each of us forces that hunger, lust, envy, desire physical and temporal gratifications. We strive for them. Or we do nothing.

Is there an earthly solution? Yes. Feed your soul. Overwhelm your physical self with spiritual pleasure. Seek harmony. Practice silence so that you might hear sounds of nature. Keep your mind free from toxins that influence thought and behavior. Live simply. Pity the Joneses of the world.

And obey the two commandments of Jesus, given when he was asked what is necessary for salvation: Love God above all else; Love your neighbor as yourself.

So simple.

Very Thankful

2007-11-25T15:38:00.000-05:00

to sum up Wed night Indian buffet
Thursday turkey dinner
Fri leftovers and Italian b4 casino w/ larry, marlene
Sat nibblin' and Ron's home made pizza

after Frank's Sunny Italy, Lynette and Emily and Sarah went to see Enchanted, while the rest of us went to Seneca Niagara casino.
Teresa and Lou were at casino to say hey.
Sat at Belinda's -- cousins day . belinda, lizanne, lynette, laura, hayley, cord, derek, autumn, mike (belinda/autumn's cousin on bert's side) kassie, kateri, karissa, emily, sarah.... pete, bert, me. lovely visit. oh and kiley, friend of kassie. hope i didn't forget anyone. Afterward we went to visit barb at her shop in spencerport. Great time.
went back to lynette's for ron's pizza and PPV of evan almighty. good movie. much broader mssg than i'd expected. God doesn't reward us for what we intend to do or what we say we believe. Faith is above all that. We are rewarded, ultimately, by believing in God and acting accordingly.
And I loved the explicit message.... "if you pray for courage, God does not give you courage, only the opportunity to be courageous." etc. I guess that's why I have not quit smoking, but have had lots of opportunities to quit. :( Evan had prayed to God for help to "change the world."

Olyarchuks left this morning but we all had a wonderful Thanksgiving 2007.

Love and thanks to/for all of you.

re: Insomnia & Fortune Cookies

2007-11-18T21:52:00.000-05:00

I slept 12 hours last night-- midnight to noon. No hydroxizine, no help except not sleeping at all the night before. And I've felt great all day. That's not an acceptable schedule, though, sleeping 12 hours every other day. I'd be bound to have conflicts.

Now the Chinese fortune cookie. I have said that since I can't escape my past, I may as well write about it. And I will. I do. So yesterday my daughter Lynette and I went to a Chinese buffet. Was a real first for me. Not Chinese buffet; that's a common choice. But I took only one trip around the buffet! Except for desert of chocolate ice cream and 2 macaroons and 2 little squares of cake. Okay, 1 square of yellow with white icing, and 1 round of white with pink icing rolled up in it Normally, I'm a three-tripper. One trip and feeling satisfied, more than satisfied, gave me the sensation that my life is changing. Wow!

What is this strange and . . . almost pleasant experience? Wondering about the future? How odd. I don't think I have ever wondered about the future. Maybe it won't last.

The fortune cookie. Lynette chose first. I don't recall what hers said, but was rather ordinary. Then I asked her to read mine, as I didn't have my glasses. She broke it open, silently read the message, and looked stunned.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Something unbelievable," She said.

"Well, read it to me, already." She refused, said I had to read it myself. She handed me the tiny slip of paper, after telling me my Chinese word on the back: tien che haou -- good weather.

I muddled through the fortune, reading "chose." Correcting me, Lynette said, "choke."

So this is what it said: Don't let the past and useless details choke your existence.

Well, isn't that a kick in the pants?

Far as I'm concerned, few details are useless. For example: there's toast, and then there's bread toasted to a crisp golden brown the color of roasted saffron, burnt slightly along the crust.

And now that I'm writing about the past, when I do, it can't choke me. If it's difficult, I swallow hard and move forward. Or backward.

But it was a most interesting fortune in that cookie. If I'd gotten it a year ago, I'd have had to go back to therapy and take it with me. ;)

Immigration & Illegals Solution

2007-11-18T15:19:00.001-05:00

1) Request ALL illegals under the age of 60 interested in becoming U.S. citizens with permanent naturalized citizenship to register for citizenship classes by a deadline.
2) Allow 9 months for illegals to pass citizenship tests in ENGLISH.
3) Remove ALL automated "press 1 for English" phone options, and their counterparts. I've actually made calls where the machine said press TWO for English. Hellllooooo?
4) Declare a "Homegoing" week. Assist all illegals who wish to return to their homelands peacefully and without penalty. Give them each $50 to help them on their way.
5) Search and destroy (fire their asses) ALL corrupt border and inspector officials.
(I know for a fact that there are persons taking payoffs from illegals at border crossings.)

6) STOP BLAMING ILLEGALS when we make it so easy for them to get here and to work here illegally and have families and get public assistance.

7) REJOICE in our own homeland and be grateful. Be happy for all of our new citizens.

That's a start. Then make corporate outsourcing illegal. If American businesses want to open new plants and companies in foreign lands, make them start from scratch. What incorporates in the United States stays in the United States. Un-incorporating and dissolving businesses is always an option.

AND do all U.S. citizens a huge favor: make them speak and read and write American English, help all citizens to get the best education they can, AND the best jobs that they can.

I am entirely in favor of Americans being at least bilingual. That's why foreign language classes are offered. WAKE UP OUT THERE.

Teddy Roosevelt on Immigration

2007-11-18T00:24:00.000-05:00

What on earth have we done to this country in the last 100 years? Greed is undoing us all.... the demand for cheap labor to increase profits to sell stock and please shareholders and make a company look good on paper.... downsizing, outsourcing.... why doesn't corporate America care about where it lives? Corporate America is no better than the hundreds of thousands, millions of illegals who work under the radar and send their pay to their families .. in their REAL home.... which is not the USA.

The parameters for democracy are a far cry from the parameters of an anarchy, but in the past few generations, we have become sinfully more democratic, too liberal, too tolerant. WE have lost our standards, selling out for a pot of porridge. The birthrights of Americans are in grave jeopardy. We run like lemmings toward the abyss.

I say, We are a country-- not a free-for-all -- the United States of America is a Nation. And while we welcome those who wish to live here free from political oppression, free from religious persecution, we CANNOT turn over the helm to those who disrespect our Constitution, and that includes Americans.

And while I'm at it, the ACLU has long outlived its usefulness. DISBAND it before it's too late. Let the Constitution of our country do its job.

What did Teddy Roosevelt say about immigration?
click on link: http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/troosevelt.asp

insomnia

2007-11-17T19:03:00.000-05:00

first light at 7 a.m. DST ugh
5 de Mayo
bipolar
condom laws-days inn 1970
pigeons on tthe roof
capital punishment
Indians didn't kill crazy people
living in the past
love/hate
reason, season, lifetime
diarrhea
Karma

wil get to these sometime or other, but is it any wonder when i can't sleep?
no stats, but think most ppl can't turn their heads off because of things they
have to do...future things. I can't escape my past, nor the present as it so
quickly becomes the past. I should have taken hydroxizine at midnight. By 3 a.m.
I was too tired to get up and get it. Going back to bed now, perchance to dream.

Call Me Ishmael

2007-11-15T14:24:00.000-05:00

But don't send me to sea, except perhaps on a Caribbean cruise. The ides of November brings heavy weather: dark and rain-laden clouds above my head, the slick mush of rotted leaves beneath my feet, the crisp air of October now a thick, damp chill. It is now I long for the first white flakes of snow.

Brain Drain

2007-11-14T10:31:00.000-05:00

In chat with my friend Gail this morning I mentioned the time I thought I blew my nose too hard and blew out a bit o' brain. Gail has flu and/or extreme congestion. That "stuffed up" feeling that makes your head feel like a block of wood. Sinus infection.
I used to get a lot of sinus infections, until the day I blew my brains out. My mother had always warned us against that: Don't blow your nose so hard, you'll blow your brains out. That was when I was a kid. I was 38 when I blew my nose way too hard. I didn't care. Just HAD to break up the wood.
After finding a gray lump and a bit of blood in the tissue, I was genuinely concerned that it was a bit of "gray matter," i.e., brain.
I took the tissue to the doctor at student health-- was a grad student at the time at UND, Grand Forks, ND. A graduate student who thought she had blown a bit of her brain through her nose.
Dr. Swensen said, after exploring the bit, that it was a small cyst, from the sinus cavity. Hello? Was that what I wanted out of there or what? I had had immediate relief. And I have not had (knock on wooden head) a sinus infection since then. That was 22 years ago.
I would still advise anyone, especially those with hypertension, not to blow their nose too hard. But if you have the wood block head, see about having your sinuses excavated.

Sisters

2007-11-12T00:26:00.001-05:00

Lunch with the sisters today. This pic is from a couple of months ago; will post today's pic when I get it. That's me, Teresa, Cathy in car, and Barbara. We try to meet for breakfast or lunch in Batavia several times a year. That's about a halfway point for each of us. Terry and I had Cobb salad, Barb had meatloaf, and Cat had an omelet (breakfast her favorite meal).

Would you believe we are quadruplets? If so, you're just silly because we're not. There are 12 years between the youngest and oldest of us. And we have four brothers. All of us girls are divorced. All of the brothers are married, first marriages all. What happened to us?

Why DISNEYESQUE?

2007-11-09T14:46:00.000-05:00

For centuries, fairy tales were the stuff of myth and romance, generated and perpetuated by older generations to teach moral thought to younger generations ... and also to instill fear and dread in the little ones so they'd behave.

But somewhere in the 20th century everything went ker-plop. Real people began living as if there could be an endless supply of milk from a single ewer; as if Prince or Princess Charming would spot them on the street and propose while showering them with riches and kisses; as if the goose that laid golden eggs would be theirs for the taking, and so spending entire lives looking for beanstalks; as if growing old was a thing of nightmares while staying forever young needed only a sprinkle of magic dust; as if killing the dragon that was terrorizing the king would make them heirs to the throne. As if.

I blame the Disney phenomenon for our current dilemma: young people finding cartoons and fantasy more attractive than real life. Who can blame them? But the result is escapism and avoidance and interior landscapes filled with promises of untold riches, glorious love, beautiful bodies, painless efforts, endless good health. And happily ever after.

Oh, I know that I'm over-simplifying and over-generalizing. ALL young people are not persuaded, subconsciously, to believe their efforts in school and at work and at home are the punishments of gnomes.

But witness the generations of youth and post-youth who were raised by the square box at home, by the larger version in movie theaters, and compare that box to the personal computer. Fantasy becomes real life when streaming video makes heroes, heroines, villains, monsters of the most innocuous of us. Life outside of fantasy just seems, too often, not worth living.

Thoughts on the Way Down

2007-11-08T22:35:00.000-05:00

A slightly humid South Carolina twilight in October: I stood at the second floor deck railing, looking down, mesmerized by the idea of identifying individual blades of grass. I would choose one, quickly look away for a moment, then slowly look back to find that particular blade again. I couldn't. Or perhaps there was just no way to be sure.

But I found myself thinking of jumping. Which was silly as level was barely second floor and landing would be on grass. How high would I have to be-- I mean at what height-- to make jumping worthwhile?

Sears Tower observation deck, maybe. Out of an airplane at 37,000 feet, okay. I recall reading a James Dickey (author of Deliverance) poem, titled "Falling." It was based on a true event, to the best of my recollection, about an airline hostess who was sucked out of an airplane at about that altitude while over Kansas. The poem charted her progress over parts of Kansas, Missouri, Nebraska... where most of her body finally came to rest. It was a long poem. Maybe it was even a book.

I'm certain she didn't jump, maybe the door was blown off and she just happened to be next to it. And this made me wonder: What if the door hadn't come loose? Would the plane have had to crash and everyone aboard perish so that this one woman could keep her appointment with death?

Is that what airplane crashes are all about? Kismet? Zadig? Destiny? Fate for a few; fatal for all?

Ah, there's my first blade of grass. I'm sure of it.

Wedding Bells

2007-11-08T22:20:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, weekend of Oct. 20 to be exact, I attended a wedding at Preston Woodall in Benson, NC. Lovely affair the wedding was, tasteful and uncomplicated. Oh, one of the bridesmaids did faint and fall into a gathering of lit candles, catching her hair on fire; but I mention that only because it might not show up in any of the videos, and I don't want to forget.
Mother of the Bride was my dear friend Mary Kay, a co-conspirator of some 45 years. She was my maid of honor-- the first time-- and I was hers. The circle seems complete.

Three strikes and I'm out, but if i were to marry again, it would be in October and in North Carolina. At Preston Woodall. But, hey, it's a Bed & Breakfast. Maybe I'll just go visit.